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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24160441">Call You Mine [Miya Atsumu X Reader]</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsumusamu/pseuds/tsumusamu'>tsumusamu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, Angst, Bad Writing, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, MSBY are located in Tokyo because I'm Stupid and Mixed Their Location Up With Adlers, Mild Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Pining, Post-Time Skip, Pro Volleyball Player Miya Atsumu, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Spoilers, cringefest, don't read if you don't want to cringe, i'm fucking crying i can't write for shit, sobbing pls dont</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:41:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,131</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24160441</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsumusamu/pseuds/tsumusamu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Being in unrequited love with your best friend sucks. It's even worse when the friend you're in love with is Miya Atsumu.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Miya Atsumu/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>706</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi this is the first time I've written anything in almost in an entire year so I'm extremely rusty... please leave any tips you might have for me that could help me improve!! Feedback is really appreciated! Thank you!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You were six years old when you first met Miya Atsumu.</p><p>He and his brother were seated directly behind you in your first year of primary school, and were always bickering with each other. They often disturbed class with their petty arguments and the many spitballs that they used to terrorize some of their classmates just for laughs (luckily you were never a target). You had turned your nose up at them at first; boys have <em>cooties</em>, after all.</p><p>But one day, Atsumu cornered you near the swings during recess time, a scowl painted across his face.</p><p>"You there! (L/N)!" he had shouted. "Who's cuter?! Me or 'Samu?" </p><p>"Osamu of course," you replied without hesitation, trying not to laugh as Atsumu exhaled an angry puff of hot air.</p><p>He had then poured his goldfish crackers on your head.</p><p>Atsumu never left your side after that. At the time, you were a little annoyed. It meant having him follow you around at school and poke at you for random things, whether it be that your shirt was a funny color (you all wore the same uniform shirt but apparently that's besides the point) or that he needs an extra pencil while trying to hide his own behind his back (you always complied anyway; you learned quickly that it's best to shut up him as soon as possible).</p><p>He stuck to you like glue; always there to jab playfully at you and pull your pigtails and steal part of your lunch, sticking his tongue out at you when you protested. He enjoyed provoking you; you were a relatively calm kid but Atsumu always knew how to get you riled up. Your mother had almost passed out from shock one day upon seeing you and Atsumu wrestling on the porch before your walk to school (Osamu had been standing off to the side subtly egging the both of you on). But Atsumu's actions never came with malicious intentions, and both of you were well aware of that. It was "frenemies" except that you weren't really enemies; the two of you just liked to mess with each other.</p><p>Despite all of the constant yelling and bickering and arguing and tantrums that plagued your early relationship with him, you found yourself growing closer and closer to the annoying little brat named Miya Atsumu.</p><p>And eventually, as natural progression goes, he became your best friend who you couldn't imagine life without.</p><p>Atsumu was (and is) infuriating, bratty, whiny, childish, arrogant — the list goes on and on. Yet, silly, foolish you developed a crush on him when you were in your final year of middle school. After being friends with Atsumu for years and spending many summers playing volleyball in the park, autumns rolling around in the fallen leaves, winters chucking snowballs at each other, and springs picking bouquets for your mothers (Atsumu made you swear that you wouldn't tell anyone that he picked flowers for his Mom, but when Osamu found out he had laughed his arse off and told everyone anyway), your heart decided to give itself to the boy who's been both a pain in your ass and one of the greatest people in your life.</p><p>You fell for him — hard.</p><p>It didn't help that you had to spend nearly every waking hour with him near you since you were the manager of the Inarizaki Volleyball Club. You had played volleyball on your middle school's team but decided to quit after sustaining a mildly serious leg injury in the summer before high school that kept you off the court. You loved the sport, but not enough to risk hurting yourself again, and maybe you wanted to explore other activities (you had been eyeing the baking club flyers).</p><p>At first, it seemed like high school would cause you to grow apart from the twins, especially since you decided to stop playing volleyball. However, Atsumu and Osamu had practically dragged you to the gym on the first day of school, announcing that you had volunteered to be the club’s manager (you hadn't) and the rest is history.</p><p>Looking back, you’re grateful for their rash actions because the volleyball team had become like a family to you. You love each and every one of the boys you’ve grown close to over your years as manager with every fiber of your being. From Kita and Aran, who you hold great respect for (and they adore you in return), to Akagi and Omimi, who would treat you to food whenever they wanted to feel like good senpais, to Ginjima and Suna, who you always had fun joking and playing around with, and of course the Miya twins, who you've been stuck to since you were little kids.</p><p>You also genuinely enjoyed your role as manager; volleyball was always a part of your life growing up (a given since you grew up with the Miya twins) and staying with the sport ended up being a positive experience. But of course, there were times you wished you at least had a <em>chance</em> to try and get over Atsumu.</p><p>You weren't in the same classes as him throughout high school, as you were in the college prep classes, but every time you would walk into the gym for practice, Atsumu would greet you with a bone-crushing hug and lift you off your feet before twirling you around — an action that never failed to make your heart start racing and remind you of how bad you have it for him.</p><p>When Osamu found out about your crush on Atsumu, he never let you live it down, constantly teasing and poking fun at you like the little shit he is. You thought he had made it painfully obvious to his brother, but you're pretty sure he never directly exposed you. Osamu's strange like that. Yet, despite all the constant nudges and raised eyebrows from Osamu, Atsumu never seemed to mind your obvious crush, or even notice it — what a complete blockhead.</p><p>You couldn't help yourself, either. Not only did this boy have the looks, with his tall, sturdy stature, warm chocolate eyes, and a soft-looking undercut that all girls would die to run their hands through (which he dyed piss-yellow in high school, something that you made fun of him for weeks until you realized one day how good it actually looks on him and you shut up quickly), but at least to you, he always gave the best of himself.</p><p>Sure, to other people (and still occasionally to you) he was (and is) an inconsiderate asshole without a filter, but you knew he truly did (and does) care for you. It was always the little things, from bringing you your favorite baked goods when you're sad to trying to help you with homework even when he's just as clueless or sticking around to put away the volleyballs and close up the gym with you at the end of practice, that made you fall harder and harder every day.</p><p>When you graduated from high school, you planned to attend a university in Tokyo. Atsumu had told you of his goals to go pro in volleyball, and he, too, chose a school in Tokyo to continue his training there. Once again, just when you thought you'd have time to get over your crush on Atsumu, now you had become his only close friend from high school in the area, since Osamu had decided to attend a university in Hyogo.</p><p>The two of you grew even closer in the few years you've spent in Tokyo. You used to meet up every day after class to hang out in a coffee shop or a burger joint, just like your time in high school. Except this time, it was just you and him, instead of you, him, and the rest of the Inarizaki team.</p><p>To say you didn't fall for him even harder would be a complete lie. At times, you liked to indulge in the thought that maybe he liked you back. It was just those moments when he would hug you a little too tight, or when he would lean down to nuzzle your neck when the two of you lay together on your couch with a movie playing in the background, or when he would kiss your forehead and his lips lingered for a few seconds more.</p><p>And yet, he was, at the same time, unattainable.</p><p>Being a hotshot student athlete with a strong, muscular build and a frustratingly handsome face to match, he had more than his fair share of female attention. Multiple times, he had canceled plans with you to go on dates or, well, to spend quality time with other girls.</p><p>You didn't mind, though, or at least, you tried not to. After all, you were just his best friend, and you've spent your entire life being nothing more than that... why should you start thinking that you couldn't survive that way, now? He has his life and you have yours.</p><p>When he passed the Black Jackals tryouts, you were the first person he told. He had called you immediately, practically brimming with excitement as he revealed the great news. The two of you were ecstatic about his achievement and celebrated with a pizza and movie night to boot.</p><p>Since then, though, he's been much busier. You hardly ever see him anymore. Atsumu's busy schedules filled with practices and games made it so it was difficult for your free times to align, with you being in your last year of university and constantly studying your ass off.</p><p>Above all, you love Atsumu as a friend. You never want to lose this friendship that’s been built across so many years because of some stupid romantic feelings that you’re sure will go away eventually (it’s been like ten years since they’ve appeared but you don’t like to think about that). But this unconditional love you have for him gets you into trouble. A lot.</p><p>You had been peacefully sleeping after a long day of boring lectures, piles of homework, and countless hours of poring over textbooks for upcoming exams.</p><p>...That is, until your phone rings, obnoxiously loudly as a matter of fact, with a call from none other than Bokuto Koutarou himself.</p><p>You shoot up from bed in shock, your heart pounding wildly from the startling sound before your mood immediately sours.</p><p>Bokuto had had your phone number since that one training camp in high school when he, Akaashi Keiji, Atsumu, Osamu, and you decided to sneak out of the dorms to get ice cream at 2 AM. Your coaches were not happy when the five of you were caught trying to get back into your dorms undetected. When you learned that Bokuto was one of Atsumu's new teammates on the Jackals, you were pleasantly surprised to see him again. He truly is a good guy. Bokuto still constantly texts you memes and stupid shit he finds on social media, but he hardly ever calls you.</p><p>Bokuto calling you on a Saturday at 4 AM, the butt-crack-of-dawn, can only mean one thing — Miya Atsumu, your best friend, had done some stupid shit.</p><p>“Hello?” you snap into the phone, an exasperated expression already marring your features.</p><p>“Hey hey hey, (Y/N)-chan!” comes Bokuto’s enthusiastic, booming voice, which makes you cringe slightly at its contrast with the silent darkness of your bedroom. “Uhh, I’m in front of your apartment building. With Tsum-Tsum.” You can’t help but crack a small smile at the silly nickname he has for Atsumu.</p><p>“What happened this time?” you question dryly, already dragging yourself out from underneath your warm covers to grab your jacket and keys.</p><p>“We went out for drinks after practice, and uh... He kinda got shit-faced drunk,” Bokuto responds cheerfully, and you can faintly hear a pained moan in the background, one that you can assume belongs to none other than Atsumu himself. “And we couldn’t find his apartment keys, so we thought we’d bring him to your place.”</p><p>“And why my place?” you mumble irritably as you leave your apartment, not bothering to hide your annoyed grumbles since your roommate, Mika, is spending the night with her boyfriend.</p><p>“Aren’t you his girlfriend?” Bokuto quips plainly. You nearly choke on your own spit, almost slamming headfirst into the wall when you trip over the flimsy material of your Hello Kitty slippers on your way to the elevator.</p><p>“No!” you exclaim, your voice bouncing off the hallways of your apartment building, echoing embarrassingly loud. You clap a hand over your mouth, as if that’s supposed to help, before sheepishly pressing the ‘Down’ arrow for the elevator. “....He’s not my boyfriend, Kou. We’re just friends.”</p><p>“Really?” Bokuto sounds genuinely puzzled. “But Tsum-Tsum has been— “</p><p>“Bokkun~” you hear Atsumu’s sleepy, intoxicated voice from the other end of the line. “Izzat (Y/N)?” Before Bokuto can answer, you hear slight scuffling and a noise of protest, as Atsumu, presumably, snatches Bokuto’s phone.</p><p>“Tsum Tsum, what are you doi— “</p><p>“Gimme jus’ a sec, Bokkun,” he slurs reassuringly. There’s a few seconds of silence and some fumbling, and you can’t help but be slightly amused by this exchange. The elevator doors open, and you step in, waiting for Atsumu to speak. “Hey (Y/N),” he drags out your name. “Are ya listenin’?”</p><p>“Yes ‘Tsumu. I’m here.” You roll your eyes even though you know he can’t see it.</p><p>“Good.” You can vividly imagine the dopey smile that’s probably painted on his face right now. “Yer comin’ to get me, yeah?”</p><p>“Just arrived in the lobby,” you respond mildly as the elevator dings, signaling that you’ve arrived at your desired floor.</p><p>“Good,” he says again. “’Cuz I loveeeee yaaaaaaa— “ Atsumu’s cut off by Bokuto pulling the phone away from him.</p><p>“Hurry up and take him away from me already, (Y/N)-chan,” Bokuto pleads playfully, earning an indignant ‘Hey!’ from Atsumu.</p><p>“I’m here,” you reply with a sigh before hanging up. As soon as you step out the front entrance of your apartment building, you’re engulfed by a large, heavy body that practically squeezes the life out of you.</p><p>“(Y/N)!” Atsumu exclaims happily, literally crushing you against his chest while you wheeze in pain.</p><p>“’Tsumu—you big lug—get off—me—“ you gasp out between breaths as Atsumu begins to nuzzle his cheek in your hair. It’s an action that shouldn’t be as endearing as it is. Your heart flips upside down in your chest, but you quickly cover your flustered state by ducking your head down and away from the scrutinizing gaze of Bokuto.</p><p>“You two really aren’t dating, (Y/N)-chan?" Bokuto asks with a raise of his eyebrows.</p><p>"No, we're not," you insist through the limited amount of air in your lungs, courtesy of the dumbass you call your best friend. Bokuto doesn't look too convinced.</p><p>"...Alright then," he concedes after a moment with a nonchalant shrug and a grin. "I'll leave you two to it, then."</p><p>"Bye, Kou," you call after Bokuto as he makes his way over to his car. He waves happily in response.</p><p>"(Y/N)... ya smell good... like strawberries..." His nose is digging into your hair, inhaling the fruity scent of your shampoo. Atsumu had thankfully loosened his grip on you so you can actually breathe, but he still has his long and muscular arms wrapped tightly around you. You fight back the urge to hug him right back (you feel an irreplaceable sense of safety in his embrace) and instead place a hand against his broad chest and push him away. He gives you a look that resembles a puppy that’s been kicked.</p><p>"Come on, asshole. Let's get you showered and in bed. You stink." The smell of cheap beer and wing sauce covers Atsumu's usual comforting, musky scent, one that you had grown to love over the many years that you've known each other. Of course, you wouldn't admit it to his face; he'd never let you live it down.</p><p>"Lemme hug yaaaaa," he slurs out, reaching for you again but you dodge his arms, and instead grab the sleeve of his hoodie to start dragging him into your apartment building. He whines loudly with each and every step, and you're pretty sure he's woken up every single person in the building by now.</p><p>On the elevator ride up to your floor, Atsumu starts to absentmindedly mumble to himself, pausing every few moments to stare at you, blinking owlishly before breaking eye contact and resume his rambling.</p><p><em>How much did he drink? Damn.</em> Atsumu's not the type to get drunk easily. Being such a tall and muscular person who's been drinking since his high school days (at karaoke bars, where you and your other high school friends had the lovely experience of hearing a tipsy Atsumu sing), it's uncommon for him to get this wasted.</p><p>"Come on, loser." You haul him into your apartment, still leading him by his sleeve. You make sure he kicks off his shoes; Mika, who's a clean freak, would not appreciate any dirt tracks inside the apartment. You have him sit on your couch. Atsumu says nothing, bringing his long legs up to his chest and resting the soles of his feet on the couch, tucking his chin in the crook between his knees. He continues to gaze at you dreamily, as if in a trance.</p><p>"Yer real pretty, (Y/N)," he tells you with a dorky grin.</p><p>"'Tsumu, you're drunk. Stop spouting nonsense." You quickly turn around to hide the blush on your face. You've never dealt with Atsumu in this state alone before. Sure, he's been slightly intoxicated in your presence, but it was always with a group. You hate how much his flirtatious words are having an effect on you, especially since he's drunk for god's sake.</p><p>You grab him a glass of water, making sure that he doesn't drop the cup or spill on your couch; you don't want to be killed by Mika. He gulps the water down eagerly, his chocolate eyes never leaving yours, and you shift awkwardly at the odd intensity.</p><p>Atsumu briefly breaks eye contact to run his gaze down your pajama-clad body, and you're pretty sure you hear a low, appreciative hum rumble from the back of his throat. You're wearing an old t-shirt that reaches your mid-thigh with a pair of stretchy black shorts hidden underneath, and while it isn't the most modest outfit, you're comfortable and that's all that matters. But you suddenly feel naked under his heated stare and want to pile on a million layers so you can escape from the breathless feeling in your chest as Atsumu, for lack of better words, undresses you with his eyes.</p><p>He lingers a little too long on your exposed legs, shamelessly drinking in the smooth, soft skin of your thighs, but before you can drag something intelligent out of your vocal cords, Atsumu snaps his eyes up to look directly at you again. You can't miss the way his teeth dig shallowly into his bottom lip as he unabashedly stares at you with his hooded, lazy gaze. You instinctively take a few steps back, your heart hammering in your chest.</p><p>"W-wait here. I'll run a bath for y-you," you stammer out. You take the chance to get away from Atsumu's unwavering stare, as your entire body is starting to heat up in embarrassment.</p><p>He had never looked at you that way before.</p><p>Still, you can't believe that you're letting yourself get psyched out over him just <em>looking</em> at you. <em>Chill out, (Y/N). He's acting weird because he's drunk.</em></p><p>You quickly make your way to the bathroom and turn on the water. While waiting for the tub to fill, you rummage through your closet to find a spare blanket before grabbing an extra pillow off your own bed for Atsumu. When you walk back out into the living room, Atsumu is still in the same position that you left him in, curled into a ball. He watches you curiously as you toss the blanket and pillow onto the couch next to him.</p><p>"Those are for you." Atsumu shoots you an offended look.</p><p>"(Y/N), ya can't expect me ta sleep on the couch, can ya?!" he exclaims incredulously. You consider his words for a moment. True, with how tall this jerkwad is, his knees would probably be hanging off the couch. It would certainly be uncomfortable for him.</p><p>"You're right. You can take my bed for the night, I'll sleep on the couch," you decide as the alternative option, but Atsumu lets out a whine of protest. You refrain from rolling your eyes.</p><p>"Ya don't hafta do that, (Y/N)!" he whines. "Why don't we just sleep together in yer bed?"</p><p>Your heart skips a beat and your cheeks flush before you can stop them.</p><p>"Sh-shut up, idiot!" you grit out.</p><p>"Oh?" Atsumu chuckles, smiling oh-so-casually. "Ya seem like you'd like that, though." You glare at him until he wilts slightly. You shake your head, exasperated.</p><p>"God, how and why did you get so wasted?" Sighing as you turn away from him once more, you go and check on the bath you’re preparing for the intoxicated dumbass. Atsumu, being the way he is, has messed with you before, with offhanded comments perfectly aiming to throw you off-guard. But it was never like this. He never crossed the line between friendship and something more.</p><p>You hate the part of you that desperately wants to accept and actively seek out that 'something more'.</p><p>You dump some bubble bath formula into the water and watch it foam and rise to the surface. It's truly like you're taking care of a child, making a bubble bath for him, of all things. What should you do next, get him some rubber duckies? You briefly wonder what drunk Atsumu would do if you dropped in a rubber duck. Chaos or friendship between Atsumu and the duck; no in between.</p><p>“'Tsumu, get in here. Your bath is ready," you call to him, switching off the tap. You hear him shuffle his body off the couch, his heavy footsteps approaching the bathroom slowly and unevenly. He pokes his head into the bathroom, his eyes drooping with exhaustion.</p><p>"Do I hafta take a bath?" he grumbles. "Jus' wanna sleep."</p><p>"You smell gross. I don't want Mika to throw a fit if our apartment smells like beer tomorrow," you insist, pointing at the tub.</p><p>"Hmph." Atsumu does not argue further, so you step out of the room to let him get undressed. You leave the door open a crack just in case he needs something. And low and behold, not fifteen seconds after you leave, you hear Atsumu whine, "(Y/N)! I caffn'th taffke my shirrrt off." You exhale an exhausted breath before peeking inside the bathroom.</p><p>Atsumu has his arms and head tangled in his shirt, half of his face sticking out of one of the armholes and his arms caught in some kind of bizarre knot above his head.</p><p>"Heeurlpp," comes his garbled request for your assistance. You sigh, helping the idiot pull off his shirt. You do your best not to stare at his upper body, but how could you not? Sure, he had already been well-defined and strong in his high school days, but compared to now, he might as well have been scrawny.</p><p>How the hell does someone get their abs to look that good? Your eyes nearly bug out of your head. You haven't seen Atsumu shirtless in years, not since that one pool party that the two of you had gone to in your first year of university. Since going pro, his build had seemed to grow even more glorious, from the perfect outlines of his pecs to the chiseled lines of his abs to the defined muscles in his arms.</p><p>It's taking every single part of you not to swoon, and you despise yourself for this.</p><p>"Enjoyin' the view?" Atsumu has the audacity to say, giving you an obnoxious, lopsided smirk.</p><p>"I've seen better," you shoot back immediately, which causes the smile on his face to instantly drop.</p><p>"Who?" he cries out, clearly irritated, but you don't give him the time of day. Truthfully, you haven't seen someone better. But you won't give him the satisfaction of knowing this fact.</p><p>"That's irrelevant, finish getting undressed. I am not helping with your pants." The two of you simultaneously look down to where a belt buckle holds his jeans up. He helplessly fumbles with it for a bit, before glancing up at you desperately. You huff.</p><p>"Pleaseeee (Y/N)," he whines.</p><p>"You can't even take off your own belt?" you grumble.</p><p>"Pleaseeee," he repeats, his large hands reaching out to bring you into a tight hug.</p><p>"Okay, okay," you wheeze. You're internally screaming as the hard muscles on his arms and upper body press against you. "Let me go first, idiot." Atsumu happily complies, beaming his pearly-white teeth at you before letting you help him with his belt.</p><p>You unbuckle Atsumu's belt as quickly as you can, avoiding contact with his body and not daring to meet the heated gaze that's practically burning into the top of your head. You swear you hear him inhale sharply when you accidentally brush your hand against his thigh. When you finally find it in you to look up at him, he's running his tongue over his lips, making those damn bedroom eyes again. Your entire being is in fight or flight mode; oh God, why does it look like he wants to devour you?</p><p>"C-can you handle the rest yourself?" you say shakily after successfully undoing his belt, backing away ungraciously and nearly tripping over your own feet. Atsumu nods, the strange, intense look still on his face unnerving you to the core. You want to scream and cry and dig a hole and hide in it forever; why does this man have to have such an effect on you? "Okay, I'll be just outside if you need me."</p><p>"...Will ya help me wash my hair?" he asks rather meekly, just as you're about the shut the door. You crack it open a little to provide your answer.</p><p>"Yeah. Sure." A small, giddy smile spreads across Atsumu's lips like he's a kid who was just given candy.</p><p>"’kay." He then proceeds to pull down both his pants and boxers in one fell swoop, causing you to let out a shriek and quickly turn around, hands over your eyes.</p><p>You immediately feel stupid for reacting this way; you must seem immature as hell. But then you remember that Atsumu is still intoxicated and probably won't remember any of this in the morning, and you breathe a little.</p><p>You don't move until you hear the splash of water, signaling that Atsumu had successfully got himself into your bathtub. Cautiously, you peek into the bathroom and see him staring right back at you, an expectant look on his face.</p><p>"C'mere already," he grumbles, pouting. "Yer actin' like you've never seen a naked man before."</p><p>You frown slightly, shifting uncomfortably as you sit on the edge of the tub and grab the shampoo bottle from its place on the rack.</p><p>"Whatever," is the best you can come up with, lathering the shampoo into his hair.</p><p>"Wait, don't tell me." He goes still for a moment, and you hum in response, beginning to massage the liquid into his scalp. "Yer a virgin?"</p><p>"Didn't say that, 'Tsumu," you reply, keeping your voice steady as possible even though your internal instincts were freaking out. In your decade and a half together, you've never talked about these things with Atsumu.</p><p>"You are, aren't ya?" You don't reply, suddenly way too focused on the blonde locks of his hair swallowed in bubbles from the shampoo. "(Y/N)." He jerks back, glaring at you with his thick eyebrows furrowed in suspicion. You hold back a laugh; he looks anything but intimidating with a head full of bubbles and some stray foam on his cheek. "Answer me."</p><p>"What's it to you?" you continue to maintain your cool, bringing his head back towards you and continuing to wash out his hair.</p><p>"Dunno." He continues to scowl. "Who was your first, then?" You're quiet. "So yer a virgin."</p><p>"Yes, I am. Don't see how this is important, dumbass."</p><p>"Yer twenty-three."</p><p>"So?" You arch an eyebrow.</p><p>"Yer <em>twenty-three</em>," he emphasizes. "And you've never gotten laid." You stiffen, pursing your lips. You were surrounded by intimidating volleyball players for most of your high school life so any boy that ever had the desire to get close to you was promptly chased off. When you had gone to university, you never had any intention to lose your virginity, being more focused on your studies and your job at the local bakery. Frankly, you don't think your lack of 'getting laid' is a huge deal, but the way Atsumu seems to be addressing the topic now makes it seem like some kind of crime.</p><p>"Okay, and?"</p><p>"I could be yer first," he says suddenly, and you almost topple over into the bathtub in surprise.</p><p>"Wh-what?" you stutter, you fingers clenching a little too tightly on Atsumu's hair, causing him to yelp.</p><p>"...I said," he repeats as you steady yourself again. "I could be yer first."</p><p>"Haha. Real funny." Your tone is nonchalant but you feel like you're about to implode from the mess of feelings brewing deep in your stomach.</p><p>"I'd take care of ya," Atsumu continues, his eyes slowly darkening again. "Make ya feel real good." You let out a noise that's an unholy combination of a scream and a squeal.</p><p>"But then you'd leave me, 'Tsumu. Like you do to everyone else." You're about to rinse his hair now; you're doing your best to keep calm and focus on the task at hand.</p><p>"I'd never leave ya." He's still sleepily slurring out his words, but you almost want to believe the note of earnesty in his voice. "Yer my forever, (Y/N)." You laugh nervously; you really think you're about to go into cardiac arrest because your heart hasn't stopped racing since the moment he stepped into your apartment.</p><p>"You seem to be getting a lot more sober, 'Tsumu. I think I'll leave you to finish washing yourself." As soon as you stand up from your seat, Atsumu splashes around in protest, his arms waving wildly, and ends up soaking and covering you in bubbles from head-to-toe.</p><p>"No!" he whines, while you groan in a mixture of disgust and defeat as the water and foam drips down the front of the ratty old t-shirt you wear to bed.</p><p>"Great," you grumble to yourself. "Thanks a lot, asshat." Despite your venomous tone, Atsumu seems rather pleased with himself when you sit back down and continue to card your fingers through his soapy hair. "I hate you."</p><p>"You love me~" he sing-songs obnoxiously. You don't reply, not wanting to accidentally hint at how much those words actually ring true. "Yer so cute, (Y/N). Aren't I lucky ta have such a cute and carin' best friend?"</p><p>You merely scoff. When he's sober he's usually insulting you, so the compliments almost throw you off.</p><p>You know you're so weak for this man; this definitely isn't the first time you've bailed him out of a questionable situation. You know he means no harm in any way, and you know that he truly does appreciate you, and you know that you should really just get it through your thick skull that you'll never be anything more than a friend. But still, a tiny part of you longs for more. No matter how many times you've tried to squash that little voice in your head begging to be closer to him, it never went away, and this point, you're wondering if it ever will.</p><p>You swear this boy is going to be the death of you.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please leave me any feedback you may have! This is the first fic I've written in a LONG while so I would appreciate any kind of tips/comments :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Atsumu hadn’t meant to go out for drinks that night.</p><p>After a long day of practice games against another Division 1 team, Atsumu was left absolutely worn out and drained. He had showered, changed into fresh clothes, and stuffed all his belongings into his duffel bag in record time, not even bothering to say goodbye to his teammates, who were looking curiously at the blonde man who was usually an endless source of chatter in the locker room. Not today, however. Atsumu wanted nothing more than to get back to his apartment, put on a shitty movie, and pass out curled up on his couch.</p><p>But of course, none of that ended up happening.</p><p>“Tsum-Tsum!” Bokuto had called out to Atsumu just as he was about to leave the gym. Atsumu turned back to his teammate, raising a questioning eyebrow. “Are you coming with us to the bar tonight?”</p><p>“Yeah, Atsumu-san! Are you?” Hinata Shouyou parroted, his brown eyes sparkling with excitement. Atsumu shook his head, yawning.</p><p>“Nah. Think I’ll pass today. ‘m pretty tired.” Bokuto and Hinata looked slightly disappointed, but both nodded in understanding.</p><p>"Just like Sakusa-san, then. He also said he was tired." Hinata pouted.</p><p>“Get some rest then, Tsum — ” Bokuto started, but was rudely interrupted by the setter of the team they practiced against today.</p><p>“Hey! Miya, was it?” Atsumu grunted in response, not interested in talking to him. He was a good three or four inches shorter than Atsumu, with light brown hair and slanted, scheming dark eyes. Atsumu wasn’t sure what his name was. Might’ve started with an M... or an N?</p><p>“Yeah. Whadda ya need?” Atsumu replied in a rather irritated tone. The other man didn’t seem to be unsettled in the least, with the smug grin on his face only growing larger.</p><p>“I’m Nakamura, if you’ve forgotten. You don’t drink?” Nakamura asked with a rather condescending gleam in his eye. Atsumu’s fist clenched around the strap of his duffel bag.</p><p>“The hell? I can drink ya under the table if I wanted,” he shot back, competitive spirit quickly rising in his chest, despite the exhaustion that threatened to take over his entire body.</p><p>“Why don’t you want to come out to the bar then? Are you all talk and no bite, Miya?” Nakamura continued to mock Atsumu.</p><p>“Shut the fuck up, what I do is none of yer business, Nakashitty,” Atsumu sneered. He hadn’t enjoyed playing against Nakamura on the court. Nakamura had made so many petty moves, endless setter dumps and feints and tricks... this guy was not one that Atsumu had energy to be nice to.</p><p>Atsumu turned on his heel, about to leave for real, when a low whistle sounded from behind him. “Coward,” he heard the asshole say before letting out an infuriating snicker. Atsumu whirled around once again, now even more riled up.</p><p>“Fine. I’ll meet ya there,” Atsumu snapped, narrowing his eyes in distaste before storming out the door. He was being a bit dramatic, and knew this, but he couldn’t help himself. Atsumu had spent an entire day playing non-stop, and his already rather short-tempered self can’t keep composure against asshats like that, especially when he’s tired.</p><p>“Atsumu-san!” Hinata and Bokuto caught up to him, flanking his sides. “Are you sure? I thought you said you wanted to go home!” Hinata cast him a worried look.</p><p>“’m all good, Shouyou. That Nakashitty is gonna get what’s comin’ to him.” Atsumu’s two teammates sighed in defeat upon seeing that familiar determined look in his eyes. There’s no stopping him now.</p><p>“If he gets into trouble, we know who to call,” Bokuto reassured a worried Hinata as the pair watched Atsumu’s car speed out of the parking lot.</p><p>“Poor (Y/N)-san,” Hinata mumbled with a shake of his orange head.</p><p>-</p><p>“Hey Miya.” Nakamura smirked across the table at Atsumu, both already slightly buzzed as the two of them were already halfway through their third beer. “Say, if we’re gonna make this a contest, let’s make sure the winner gets a prize.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure,” Atsumu responded, uninterested as the only thing he was concerned with was wiping that smug smile off Nakamura’s face. Nakamura’s teammates were egging both of them on, while the Black Jackals were watching with unsure looks on their faces, not wanting to encourage the contest as they had seen how exhausted Atsumu was, but also not wanting to lose out to the other team over this silly competition.</p><p>“You know, last time we played you guys for a practice match, you had a girl with you.” Nakamura grinned wider.</p><p>“Mmh,” Atsumu didn’t pay much mind to this statement. Sometimes his flings want to come see him practice, and he let them tag along as long as they aren’t a disturbance.</p><p>“Been wanting to have her for myself, would you mind giving me her number if I win?”</p><p>“Have no idea who yer talkin’ about, describe her for me?” Atsumu rolled his eyes; of course Nakashitty wanted something to do with girls. No girl in their right mind would want his pathetic ass, anyway.</p><p>“Hmm. Like this tall.” Nakamura stood up and gestured to around his chest area. “Nice tits. Sweet ass too. And a cute little face.” Atsumu cringed a little at the way his rival’s describing whoever the mystery girl is; he felt bad that she has this guy leering about her in such a disgusting manner. He almost wanted to make sure he won just so he won’t have to feel bad about one of his past flings potentially getting creeped on.</p><p>“That’s not fuckin’ helpful at all, dipshit.” Atsumu started on his fourth bottle.</p><p>“Think she had... (H/C) hair? And (E/C) eyes. I heard you say her name, (Y/N) or something?” Before Nakamura could say anything else, Atsumu stood up so quickly that the chair he had been sitting on clattered to the ground at the abrupt movement, before he slammed his hands on the table with a loud ‘BANG!’</p><p>Startled by the loud noises, the people in the bar went eerily silent.</p><p>“The hell didja just say?” Atsumu snarled angrily, venom practically dripping from his words. He was already annoyed that Nakamura had referred to a girl in that way (it was disgusting), but you, <em>you</em> are not just any girl. Atsumu vowed that, if it could be helped, he would never let Nakashitty so much as <em>look</em> at you again. Nakamura quickly recovered from the moment of shock, and looked Atsumu dead in the eye.</p><p>“(Y/N). Give me her number if I win.” Nakamura had the audacity to say again. “Don’t keep all of the hot ones for yourself.”</p><p>“Like hell I’ll give ya anythin’ of hers.” A string of enraged curses fell from Atsumu’s lips to follow up, but Nakamura still seemed undeterred.</p><p>"Oh, come on, Miya. You fucked her, right? Is she that good that you don't want to share?”</p><p>Atsumu saw red.</p><p>Perhaps he wouldn’t have felt this angry if alcohol wasn’t already coursing through his veins, but he highly doubted that notion. In fact, had his mind been clearer, he likely would’ve already been on his feet and diving towards Nakamura’s neck in an infuriated frenzy. And in this moment, he wanted to do just that, his dark eyes already drilling hatefully into Nakamura and his hands twitching and itching for action. But before Atsumu could lunge across the table and strangle the living daylights out of Nakamura, Bokuto and Meian each grabbed one of his arms and pulled him back.</p><p>"He's not worth it, Miya," Meian had chided, his grip firm on the blonde's arm.</p><p>"Yeah, Tsum-Tsum, (Y/N) would beat you up if she found out that you got in a fight for her," Bokuto continued.</p><p>"Wouldn't be the first time I've fought off some pigs from her, believe me," Atsumu muttered. God, he remembered the sheer number of times in high school when he had to chase away some losers who thought they had a chance with you, their stupid homemade chocolates clutched heartbrokenly against their chests and their heads hanging low with embarrassment. He knows that you probably wouldn't have had the heart to turn them down (bless your soul, you’re way too nice for your own good) so he always took care of them himself. Not that you’d be missing out on much, anyway; Atsumu knew that none of those sniveling nerds that nearly pass out whenever you walk by them (not that Atsumu could blame them, he gets a similar feeling every time he lays eyes on you) could be good enough for you.</p><p>“He’s not worth it,” Meian repeated, and Atsumu scowled deeply, but lowered his fists. Upon seeing this, Nakamura's previously shaken expression was quickly overtaken by his usual arrogant grin.</p><p>"So I've said what I want. What do you want, Miya, if you win?" Nakamura asked. Right. Atsumu had completely forgotten about the whole 'prize' ordeal in his brief surge of anger (which is now slowly and menacingly simmering in the pit of his stomach).</p><p>"If I win, ya stay the fuck away from her. Don't ever ask for anythin' about her ever again. And if I ever happen to see ya too close to her in the future, just know that ya won't be so lucky next time and I'll beat yer sorry ass so bad that ya won't even remember yer own name." Atsumu broke free from his teammates' grips and resumed chugging his drink with newfound vigor.</p><p>That Nakashitty asshole didn't deserve to even breathe the same air as you. You were so flawless and pure, a literal angel that could do no wrong in Atsumu's eyes. Sure you kept him in line with nasty glares, a stubborn, unyielding personality, and (empty) threats, but you were always there with him, ever since the two of you were kids. You've been one of the most important parts of his life, and he simply can't imagine what things would be like without you around.</p><p>Your sweet smile and adorable laugh whenever he joked with you, the angry yet endearing look on your face after he did something dumb and the concerned, caring expression you wore while tending to his volleyball injuries or comforting him after a loss — just the mere thought of this undeserving dickhead getting to know you in any kind of way was enough for Atsumu to want to absolutely throttle anyone in sight.</p><p>Atsumu isn't one for mushy feelings. But when it came to you, he couldn't help but turn into a fluffy ball of affection.</p><p>He had known you were the one for him since the first time he laid eyes on you at age six. How? He wasn't so sure himself. There was just something that flared to life inside of him the first time you smiled at him, which was when you had dropped your eraser and he had picked it up for you. It wasn’t just your smile that burned itself into his memory, though; it was so much more, from your cute little pout every time he beat you in a race across the schoolyard, to the determined and attentive look on your face whenever you were listening to your teacher speak, and even that angry way you glowered at him whenever he did something stupid or annoying. He loved all of that. Atsumu was caught; hook, line, and sinker.</p><p>His feelings grew as he got older. Atsumu started relationships with other girls to try and steer himself away from you, but he’d always come back to you in the end. He could go on a million dates with a million different girls but all he would have on his mind is you. Atsumu had zoned out on way too many dates only to accidentally call the unlucky girl he was spending time with ‘(Y/N)’ and be met with shock and confusion. He had given up on leaving his feelings behind a long time ago; you had unknowingly trapped him in an elaborate snare that he has no hope of escaping from (not that he wants to). So, Atsumu let his feelings continue to grow, but he hid them well with his snarky attitude and constant teasing. Of course, Osamu saw right through him and never let Atsumu forget about that fact. But Osamu never snitched and told you how head-over-heels Atsumu is for you; that was just an unspoken promise between the two of them.</p><p>Atsumu had never openly chased after you, realizing quickly that you only saw him as a friend and nothing more. He was happy to have you as a friend, as long as you were in his life. Losing you was the last thing he would ever want to happen, and if keeping you meant that he had to sweep his feelings under the rug, then so be it. Although he would probably never be able to admit it to your face, he cared for you with the entirety of his heart, and always had.</p><p>And he was not about to lose any kind of stupid competition to someone who wouldn't treat you right. You aren't some kind of reward to be won.</p><p>“Feelin’ a little dizzy, aren’t ya?” Atsumu drawled with a raise of his brow as he watched Nakamura start to sway back and forth. Nakamura’s gaze was unfocused as he tried to look Atsumu in the eyes (ultimately failing) and the grip on his beer bottle was faltering.</p><p>“As if,” Nakamura slurred slowly, hiccupping.</p><p>Atsumu chuckled, taking the last, long sip from his fifth bottle of beer. He felt great, honestly. He kinda needed to pee (five bottles of beer hadn’t been kind to his bladder), but he felt fine otherwise. He’s not even that drunk; he bet that if someone asked him to walk a straight line he’d only be off by a few centimeters.</p><p>That Nakashitty should’ve thought twice before challenging someone like him.</p><p>“Ya look like yer ‘bout to puke,” Atsumu snorted, popping open his sixth bottle. Nakamura had started to turn slightly green.</p><p>“I’m fine, start preparing (Y/N)’s number,” Nakamura snapped back, also draining the last sips of his fifth bottle. A white-hot rocket of anger shot through Atsumu’s body. But almost immediately after those words left his stupid mouth, Nakamura passed out into a deep slumber.</p><p>The Jackals roared with victory,</p><p>Nakamura’s team groaned in disappointment.</p><p>"Pathetic," Atsumu scoffed as he watched Nakamura's teammates move him out of the bar. He’s irritated that Nakamura dared to bring you up even one more time.</p><p>"Alright Miya, that's enough." Meian attempted to take the beer out of Atsumu's hand — was this his sixth? Seventh?</p><p>"'m all good." Atsumu jerked away from his captain, smiling lazily. "Unlike that guy, I'm not a shitty wimp who doesn't know when to stop runnin' his mouth."</p><p>"Miya," Meian began with a warning tone, but was cut off by the rest of the Jackals clapping Atsumu on the back and congratulating him for his victory.</p><p>The night continued, much more pleasant without the presence of Nakamura, but Atsumu didn't stop drinking. How many bottles had it been? Ten? God, he really needs to pee now. His buzzed mind wandered to places that he hadn't dared to think about in a long while. Atsumu's been drowning himself into volleyball so hard, that all that's been on his mind is the ball and how he would set it just right for a spike of victory. But now, all of that is momentarily thrown out of the window as the only thing he can picture in his mind is you. You, and how you were so close, yet so far. You, who would always be by his side, but not in the way he wants you to be. You, who he could never call his.</p><p>You were so pretty the last the time he saw you; well you’re always pretty, but on that day you were <em>extra</em> pretty. You had met up with him at your favorite ramen place, a very expensive one that you had proudly used your meager paycheck to pick up the bill for (he had argued with you for half an hour on who should pay for the meal, and he ended up sneaking half of the total price of the meal back into your purse in the end). He distinctly remembered that you were wearing a simple, white and flowing sundress; nothing too out of the ordinary but still enough to drive him up the wall. The soft-looking fabric had brushed down to just past your mid-thigh, and hugged your curves wonderfully (he swears he only stared a few times... a minute). Atsumu briefly wondered if you're out to kill him.</p><p>It was hot that day, so it wasn't like your fashion choice was in any way, shape or form odd. Atsumu himself had regretted his choice of wearing jeans that day, and he had been sweating buckets (but not just from the heat). You were completely oblivious to the awestruck look on Atsumu's face as his eyes hungrily drank in the beautiful, picture-perfect image of you when you approached him a wide smile.</p><p>Don’t get him wrong, he loved it when you wore your usual hoodies and t-shirts (especially when you occasionally snatch an article of clothing from his apartment when you come over) but seeing you all dolled up had been an entirely otherworldly experience.</p><p>Atsumu's heart had almost stopped when you had cheerfully skipped up to him and wrapped your arms around him in a hug. You had then laughed and teased him for spraying on too much cologne, but that had fallen on deaf ears as he continued to stare at you, speechless. You smelled like heaven, too; sweet strawberry pleasantly filled his nose every time he moved closer to you.</p><p>It was like you were trying to tempt him into succumbing to his feelings for you, trying to get him to finally lean in for the kiss he’s been wanting to press on your beautiful, delicate lips for years. Atsumu was sorely tempted, especially when you leaned in a few times to whisper something in his ear and he was acutely aware that all he had to do was turn his head to kiss you. But he didn’t, playing the role of the uninterested best friend as always; laughing at your stupid jokes, teasing you for trivial things, and giving you the tiniest, most platonic forehead peck possible when you parted ways.</p><p>Despite all the frustration that borderlined on torture, having you with him for a few hours made him far more happy and relaxed than he had been in weeks. Both of you had been extremely busy, and getting the chance to be with you was enough for him. Atsumu missed you; before that ramen day he hadn’t had a meal with you in almost three weeks.</p><p>And now, as he sat in the dingy bar surrounded by his teammates and endless chatter and the pungent smell of beer, he missed you more than ever. When could he see you again? He just wants to be with you. See your pretty face. Hear your cute voice. Hold your small hand. Hug your soft figure close to his.</p><p>Atsumu’s vision began to swim, becoming unfocused and hazy. His thoughts are filled with you; you and your laugh, your smile, your scowl, your pout  — just you. He could hear himself slurring your name along with some other incoherent phrases about how beautiful you are and how much he adores you. But he was no longer controlling his words. The last thing he remembered was Bokuto's worried face peering down at him before his consciousness falls completely under the influence of alcohol.</p><p>-</p><p>You wake up with an annoying, painful ache in your neck. You're not snuggled up in your comfortable bed, but instead, awkwardly sprawled on your couch with a thin sheet covering your body. You jump when you hear a loud snore sound from your bedroom, then remember — you had offered your bed to the blithering idiot that is Miya Atsumu.</p><p><em>"C'mon, (Y/N), why doncha wanna sleep in the same bed with me?"</em> You remember his whining and pleading and the way you had almost given into his puppy eyes and petulant pout, but thankfully, you managed to escape in the end.</p><p><em>"Yer twenty-three. And you've never gotten laid."</em> You cringe at the memory of his words. You've dealt with drunk Atsumu before, but drunk Atsumu had never dared to say anything like... well, that. He had never once shown interest in your sex life (which, as his drunken self had found out last night, is as dry as a fucking desert).</p><p><em>"I'll take care of ya. Make ya feel real good." </em>Your face erupts into flames with a scarlet blush.</p><p>"Shut up," you think out-loud, annoyed with yourself for dwelling on last night. Atsumu was clearly intoxicated and had no idea what he was saying. It didn't mean anything.</p><p>With a sense of determination to try and forget about everything he'd said the previous night, you get to your feet and head to the bathroom to brush your teeth and clean yourself up. As you aggressively brush your teeth, you glare at your own reflection in the mirror and give yourself a pep talk. You <em>will</em> forget about last night. You <em>will</em> act like nothing happened. You will <em>not </em>tell Atsumu about what he said and did.</p><p><em>Don’t screw this up,</em> you scold yourself as you quickly run a comb through your hair.</p><p>After you deem yourself presentable, you go to the kitchen to find something to eat. You assume that Atsumu will have a massive hangover, so you prepare pain medication and a cup of water for him. You then open your fridge to find a bowl of leftover pancake batter. You throw the batter into a frying pan, not in the mood to whip up a fresh batch.</p><p>As the grilling pancakes send a pleasant aroma into the air, you can hear Atsumu shuffling from your bedroom, a groggy groan coming from the other side of the door. "Where the hell am I?" he questions aloud with a rather loud and long yawn. His heavy footsteps approach the kitchen, and soon you can feel his presence directly behind you.</p><p>"(Y/N)?" he tilts his head like a confused puppy while he watches you cook pancakes.</p><p>"Hey, dumbass. You got really wasted last night. Are you feeling okay?" You gesture to the painkillers and water on the table. "Take those, you'll feel better."</p><p>"Yer a lifesaver." Atsumu sighs in relief as he quickly takes the pills, gulping down the water in the cup. After you place the finished pancakes onto two plates, setting one in front of Atsumu, you finally glance up at him and get a proper look.</p><p>His hooded, dark eyes are even more sleepy-looking than usual and his beach blonde hair is askew and messy. The slightly small t-shirt and shorts that belong to Mika's boyfriend hang wrinkled and rumpled on his large frame. And yet, despite all of this, your traitorous heart decides to skip a beat, perhaps in reaction to the way the light filters in from the window blinds, beaming over his sun-kissed skin in such an effortlessly flawless manner.</p><p>"What?" he questions, although his mouth is stuffed full with pancakes so it comes out sounding more like 'Whuff?'</p><p>"Huh?" you blink in confusion, as you had not even noticed you were staring.</p><p>"You were starin' at me. Do I have somethin' on my face?"</p><p>"I can't believe you went and got that drunk, 'Tsumu." You quickly change the subject, not wanting to accidentally say something stupid. "And even worse than that — Bokuto really thought it would be best if you were brought here. To me. At 4 AM."</p><p>"Sorry," Atsumu replies with a non-committal shrug, shoving another forkful of pancake into his mouth.</p><p>"Just '<em>Sorry'</em>? I should've left you out there with Bokuto. I should've ignored his call," you grumble, sitting down in front of your own pancakes.</p><p>"But ya didn't." The smug smile that stretches his lips makes you roll your eyes.</p><p>"Shut up. Next time I will." You start to angrily eat your pancakes, and what you meant to be intimidating was actually adorable in Atsumu's eyes. You look like a grumpy kitten. "Why did you even drink that much in the first place?" At this, Atsumu freezes, his memories of last night all suddenly flooding back to him.</p><p>You would literally kill him if you found out why he had drank so much. He can already picture fire in your eyes and smoke coming out of your ears as you yelled at him for getting riled up over some petty taunts from a rival setter. Even worse would be sure to come if you found out about him continuing to drink because of well, <em>you</em>.</p><p>"Dunno. Stress, I guess." He avoids your skeptical glare by suddenly taking a deep interest in his nearly-empty plate.</p><p>"Stress," you repeat. "You <em>guess</em>."</p><p>"Yeah," Atsumu confirms unconvincingly. "Y'know. Since we have a really big game in a few days. Kinda worried."</p><p>"'Tsumu, drinking yourself senseless isn't going to help you win any games," you inform him exasperatedly. "If anything, it's the complete opposite. You should be taking care of yourself and your body."</p><p>"Mmm." Atsumu hums, knowing that you're right, but well, he had tried to go home and get some rest. It's just that the asshole setter from the other team had ruined it. Oh, and his own pride, of course, had gotten the best of him. He wouldn't tell you that, though. For being best friends, he sure does keep a lot from you, he realizes.</p><p>"Uh oh. You look like you're thinking pretty hard. That's dangerous." You snort, taking his empty plate and your own to the sink to wash them. Atsumu hopes that you don't notice him staring at your ass (which is barely covered by your small black sleep shorts) as you walk away. Nakamura was right about this thing. You really do have a sweet ass.</p><p>"Thanks for takin' care of me." He comes up beside you, offering to help load the dishwasher, which you gladly accept.</p><p>"Of course." You smile slightly. "You owe me for this, though. I've been wanting ramen again from that really nice place down the street and well, poor college student things. Surely a pro athlete afford it?"</p><p>"I swear, why d'ya like that place so much? We went there last week and their ramen isn't even any better than that cheap noodle cart on yer campus," Atsumu complains.</p><p>"Hey, look, you could've been left on the streets last night. Or worse, brought to Bokuto's apartment." The two of you pause to shiver at the thought of Bokuto's apartment. His place is a mess, with pizza boxes and takeout cartons and dirty clothes and random junk strewn everywhere. Poor Akaashi, who comes by once a month to throw out some of the shit in there, only for it to all multiply by the next day.</p><p>"Yeah, whatever. I'll buy ya yer shitty ass expensive ramen," Atsumu grumbles in defeat. "But really, thank you. What would I do without ya?"</p><p>"You'd be dead, for sure." You giggle, and Atsumu's heart leaps in delight at the sound, a smile threatening to cross his lips but he quickly covers it with a cough. "Besides, what are friends for?"</p><p>That definitely sours Atsumu's mood a bit.</p><p>Right. That's what you are to each other. Friends.</p><p>In his slight despair, Atsumu drops a fork on the floor, and before he can move, you call out an “I got it!” and lean down to pick it up for him.</p><p>Atsumu's gaze traitorously aims itself downwards. His eyes decide to sinfully trail over the soft curve of your bottom once again, his teeth biting down harshly on his bottom lip. He briefly wonders what it would feel like to run his calloused hands across your supple bottom, squeezing gently to make you gasp and whimper. He just <em>knows</em> you would make the prettiest sounds while you're being touched. Atsumu's aware that he shouldn’t be looking at you like this, not when you’re so blissfully unaware of the less-than-decent thoughts running through his head. But he can’t help it; you’re so beautiful and perfect and all he’s ever wanted — </p><p>Atsumu tears his eyes away from your body when you straighten up again and shove the fork into its rightful place in the dishwasher.</p><p>“Thanks for helping out, ‘Tsumu!” you say happily, closing up your dishwasher and pressing the ‘Start’ button. “How’s your head feeling, is it any be— ‘T-Tsumu?” Your voice breaks slightly when you turn around and see your best friend standing a little too close for comfort.</p><p>In fact, his large frame is practically caging you against the kitchen counter, his hands resting on either side of you. He's staring right at you, practically piercing through your being with the intensity of his gaze. It's almost, no, <em>exactly</em> like the intensity he looked at you with last night. The realization makes your stomach lurch nervously.</p><p>Atsumu's breathing is slightly labored, his shoulders heaving as his strong arms brace themselves beside your hips. He unconsciously drags his tongue along his bottom lip as he takes in the sight of you almost pressed against him. The action doesn't go unnoticed by you, and you feel your knees start to involuntarily buckle. Your own breath are starting to come out a little short as he suddenly draws just a tiny bit nearer, watching your reactions with the alert coolness of a predator. You shrink back a little, a bit intimidated by the almost hungry gleam in his hooded, chocolate eyes.</p><p>But before you can say anything, the odd gleam is gone. You blink a few times in utter confusion. Instead of the scary man that had pinned you against your own kitchen counter moments earlier, all you see now is your dorky best friend smiling down at you.</p><p>“Oh, sorry.” Atsumu quickly and casually moves out of the way, his tone lighthearted and playful as usual.</p><p>
  <em>What the hell? Am I just being paranoid?</em>
</p><p>You scold yourself for letting last night get to your head; <em>What’s wrong with you, (Y/N)?</em></p><p>“’s okay,” you say, suddenly unable to look at him. “Got any plans for today?”</p><p>“Practice in a few hours,” Atsumu hums.</p><p>“You really went and got drunk knowing that you had practice the next day?” you question incredulously, and Atsumu shrugs.</p><p>“Ya know me, I can usually handle my alcohol. Last night was well, special,” he explains carefully. You roll your eyes.</p><p>“Next time you do something as stupid as this, don’t bother asking someone to call me. I won’t pick up.” You pointedly rub the annoying knot in the back of your neck that you earned from sleeping on the couch.</p><p>“I know ya always will, though,” he replies, softly and seriously. Your own expression neutralizes, and you simply sigh. You don't even try to deny the hard truth.</p><p>“Of course. That’s what I’m here for, after all.” You gently shove his chest away from you. “Go brush your teeth or something, though. Your breath stinks.”</p><p>Atsumu grumbles and whines all the way to your bathroom (where you already keep a designated toothbrush for him) and you only laugh, sinking down on your couch and shaking your head at yourself.</p><p>You really are never getting over him, are you?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>IMPORTANT: I ADDED AROUND 2.3K WORDS TO THIS FIC! NO MAJOR PLOT CHANGES BUT FEEL FREE TO REREAD THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS IF YOU'RE AN OLD READER BC I ADDED MORE DETAILS :)<br/>hello hello, i'm so sorry for the long delay but i've finally written the third chapter! i decided to make this story at least 4 parts, but i marked completion at 5 just in case. i'd like to dedicate this chapter to my good friend lei, who i'm basically writing this fic for at this point LOL lei idk if you'll see this but i love you so much and thank you for supporting me &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Three months.</p><p>Three months have passed since that night on which you had dragged Miya Atsumu's stupid, drunken ass into your apartment.</p><p>You haven't seen him much lately. The Jackals are on a winning streak and their practices are as intense as ever, and Atsumu has never quite been the type to make time for much else besides the sport he adores the most.</p><p>You, on the other hand, have semester exams coming up. These exams are critical; they're your second-to-last exams before you graduate from university and you know you have to do well. You've devoted your time to your thick textbooks and color-coded notes, your thoughts constantly filled with numbers and letters and random Biology facts (it's not easy to be peacefully laying in bed at night only to jolt to alertness by suddenly remembering that phospholipids have a hydrophilic head and hydrophobic tails).</p><p>Mika has even joked that at this point, you're probably ready to marry your textbooks. And given how non-existent your love life is, (to be fair, you do reject the attention of every male who comes too close to you because you're sadly very much in love with your best friend) you're starting to think that it might be a possibility. Mika's offered several times to set you up on blind dates, but you'd refused every proposal because you're simply too caught up in your studies and your idiot of a best friend to even think about dating someone else.</p><p>Atsumu clearly doesn't remember that night, but you definitely do. You simply cannot forget the way he looked at you with genuine love, affection, and a hint of desire. You also can't help but think about how that same expression crossed had his face the next morning (although you still think you were seeing things). Every time you recall those interactions, a warm, fuzzy feeling spreads through your entire being.</p><p>But you know that it meant nothing. Drunkenness can make you do odd things; you know you have to come to terms with the fact that it's all just probably just in your head.</p><p>Still, you do miss Atsumu. He finally fulfilled his promise of treating you to ramen just last week, but you haven't seen him since. You're thinking about dropping into a practice of his one of these days, but your lack of free time as of late has prevented you from doing so.</p><p>Speaking of free time, you really wish you had some on this Friday afternoon.</p><p>You grimace at the sweat dripping down your neck as you hurriedly scoop batter into the muffin tin, preparing to bake a new batch. Your boss is off yelling at another employee across the kitchen for frosting some cupcakes incorrectly, but her piercing, ringing voice carries itself into the ears of all people within a ten-mile radius. One of your coworkers drops a sack of flour, creating a dusty, white cloud that grabs your boss's attention as she turns to start screaming at the flour-dropper instead. The cashier at the front laughs nervously as the customers exchange nervous looks upon hearing the chaos coming from the kitchen.</p><p>You know you should be used to the chaos that comes from working at this small bakery, Tokyo Treats, but every time you have a shift you end up having to take painkillers for the throbbing headache that never fails to present itself thirty minutes into your job.</p><p>Why don't you just quit and find another job? Well, that's easier said than done. You're a college student with no degrees yet and Tokyo is a big, busy city. It's difficult to find job openings, and thus, you can't afford to let go of this one. In fact, you're thinking of picking up another job; sometimes you end up not having enough to pay rent at the end of the month  and you hate asking Mika to chip in extra for the remainder that you can't afford.</p><p>"(L/N)!" You jump at the sound of your boss shrieking at you. "Get those muffins in the oven this instant! Hurry up!"</p><p>"Yes, ma'am!" you respond immediately, and she gives you a scathing look before going off to lecture someone else. You thank the heavens that she left you alone (despite having worked here for almost two years now, you still can't exactly handle your boss's wrath) before quickly filling the rest of the muffin tin and shoving it into the oven. You hardly have a chance to bat an eyelash before your boss yells again,</p><p>"(L/N)! Suzuki's shift is over! Man the register!"</p><p>Great. Social interaction.</p><p>"Yes, ma'am!" you say again with fake cheer in an attempt to mask your reluctance, untying your apron and removing your gloves. You make a slight attempt to fix your hair, which had been thrown into a sloppy ponytail to keep it out of your face, but your boss starts shouting again so you settle with just retying the ponytail into a neater state.</p><p>As you step out of the kitchen towards the register, your coworker, Suzuki, gives you a small wave in passing, which you return. You step up to the register and smile brightly at your first customers of the day, a young mother and her little son.</p><p>"Hello, what can I get for you today?"</p><p>Five hours later, it's a bit past 9 PM and you're almost done with your shift as the bakery is about to close. You're the only employee left in the store, as the kitchen staff had left about fifteen minutes prior. It's up to you to close the store for the night. You fight to keep your eyes open, absolutely exhausted, as fewer and fewer people show up as time ticks on. There's no one here at the moment, and maybe it wouldn't hurt if you closed your eyes for a bit.... <em>Just ten more minutes,</em> you remind yourself, right as the door opens with a jingle.</p><p>You straighten up, ready to greet the customer.</p><p>"Hey," a familiar voice enters your ears. You give a start, your hazy vision suddenly turning razor-sharp with focus as you zero in on the face in front of you. A face that you haven't seen in person for way too long.</p><p>You freeze on the spot, your mouth dropping open in utter shock.</p><p>"'Samu?!" Once you recover from your initial surprise, a wide, excited smile of pure, unadulterated joy lights up your features as you quickly move to rush around the counter towards Miya Osamu. You never realize how much you miss Osamu until the occasional visits he makes to Tokyo twice a year or so.</p><p>"How ya doin', scrub?" Osamu chuckles softly as you wrap yourself around him tightly, burying your face in his chest. He returns your embrace with one arm, ruffling your hair affectionately with his free hand.</p><p>"Missed ya. I always do. Yer comin' ta visit less often, lately," you mumble, your Kansai accent suddenly making a full-force appearance. After four years of living in Tokyo, your accent had pretty much disappeared (the same could definitely not be said about Atsumu, who's been in this area for the same period as you have), but at times, especially when you're emotional, it decides to sneak right back into your tone of voice.</p><p>"Hmm." Osamu hums. "What if I told ya 'm here to scope out a potential place for a Tokyo branch of Onigiri Miya?" You immediately look up at him in eager anticipation.</p><p>"Really?!" you exclaim.</p><p>"Really," he confirms with a proud grin.</p><p>"Congrats, 'Samu. Yer business is really hittin' it off. Guess 'm not surprised, yer cookin' has always been great." You playfully pinch his cheek, and Osamu scoffs while he half-heartedly swats your hand away.</p><p>"Got somethin' ta do tonight? Could catch up over a er — " He pauses to glance at the clock. "Late dinner."</p><p>"I'd like that." Still smiling out of the happiness of seeing your childhood friend (it's been a year, hasn't it? You had been out on a school trip last time he came to visit), you reluctantly let go of Osamu. "Give me a minute to clean up." You return to your place behind the counter, locking up the register and removing the leftover baked goods from the glass display cases. You figure you'll take some of the extras home to Mika; she's always had a big sweet tooth.</p><p>After wiping down the tables in the bakery and making sure everything's in order and where it needs to be (your boss is always the first one into the store in the morning and she will definitely chew you out knowing that you were the one to close up if you made any sort of error), you finally leave for the day, Osamu right by your side.</p><p>"Whatcha feelin' tonight?" Osamu asks, snorting loudly when your stomach suddenly growls viciously.</p><p>"Dunno... was gonna say ramen but 'Tsumu and I just had some last week," you reply, ignoring his teasing laughter.</p><p>"Hmm, how 'bout an onigiri place? Need ta know my competition," Osamu suggests dutifully, and you decide to humor him.</p><p>"There's one close by here, I think it's pretty good."</p><p>"Not as good as Onigiri Miya, is it?"</p><p>"Well..." You pause and hesitate, which makes Osamu pout childishly.</p><p>"C'mon, ya know nothin' will be as good as <em>my </em>onigiri," he whines.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah. Sure." You giggle when Osamu's thick eyebrows draw together in mock-hurt. You really have missed him.</p><p>The two of you end up going to a small onigiri restaurant a few blocks away from the bakery. An elderly woman greets you and Osamu with a cheery smile.</p><p>"(Y/N)! Welcome back! It's been a while since you last paid us a visit."</p><p>"Hi, Mrs. Akiyama! How are you and your husband doing?"</p><p>"Oh, we're doing just fine." Mrs. Akiyama leads you and Osamu to a table and gets you settled. You don't miss the way that she's looking back and forth between you and Osamu in a suggestive manner, and when Osamu's occupied with checking out the menu, you aggressively shake your head. Mrs. Akiyama only laughs, clearly not believing you.</p><p>"How's life been?" Osamu quips lazily after Mrs. Akiyama takes your orders to her husband, who's the head chef.</p><p>"Stressful." You take a sip of the complimentary green tea the restaurant offers. "Got exams soon. All I've been doing is studying."</p><p>"So, nothing new," he says plainly. Osamu laughs out-loud when you angrily pout and throw an empty straw wrapper at him.</p><p>"What about you, if your life is so interesting?" you retort.</p><p>"Onigiri Miya's doing pretty well, so like I mentioned before, a Tokyo branch is probably gonna happen soon." He grins. "And as much as I like that little ol' lady, she better watch out."</p><p>"You haven't even eaten the onigiri yet," you point out with a snort.</p><p>"Touché," Osamu responds mildly. "Oh, and also, Rintarou and I made it official last week." Your mouth drops open in shock, but you quickly recover as your initial surprise is replaced with joy.</p><p>"Finally!" you exclaim, eagerly clasping your hands together. "Congrats, 'Samu!"</p><p>"Yeah, 'finally'," Osamu agrees, chuckling lowly. "What about you and 'Tsumu, hmm?" You blink a few times in confusion; you weren't prepared for that sudden question.</p><p>"W-What?" you stutter intelligently. Your feel your cheeks start to heat up.</p><p>"Oh, so yer still crushin' on his dumb ass after all." Osamu laughs. "Was wonderin' if ya were, since ya hadn't even brought him up all this time."</p><p>"Whadda ya mean?" you snap. "Yer not makin' sense." Osamu smirks slightly, clearly amused at how riled up you're getting. Your accent had even managed to slip back in.</p><p>"Back in high school you'd come and ask me if I thought 'Tsumu liked ya back literally every day." He rolls his eyes, and you scowl, angrily brandishing your napkin at him.</p><p>"I asked two or three times!"</p><p>"Yeah, a <em>week</em>."</p><p>"I'm going to throw this napkin at you."</p><p>"You do that."</p><p>You chuck the napkin at Osamu and he easily dodges, a shit-eating grin plastered across his face. God, everyone always says Osamu is the 'nicer' twin but that can't be farther from the truth; he's just as obnoxious as Atsumu if not even more so because he's not as obvious about it.</p><p>"C'mon, (Y/N) ya gotta make a move already. It's been painful watchin' ya drool over him for years."</p><p>"I don't <em>drool</em>!"</p><p>"Mmhmm."</p><p>"You're literally the worst." You cross your arms over your chest, frowning. "Look, I would say something, but we both know that I can't handle rejection."</p><p>"Who says you'll be rejected?" Osamu quips dryly. You stare at him like he's grown an extra head.</p><p>"Are you kidding? I'm the last person on Earth that he'll have romantic feelings for!"</p><p>"Yer really that dumb, huh?" He raises his eyebrows quizzically, which only frustrates you. Why is he being so oddly cryptic?</p><p>"What are you even talking about, 'Samu?" you groan.</p><p>"All 'm sayin' is that ya gotta <em>do something </em>already." Osamu gives you a look of slight pity. "Yer too good for 'Tsumu, anyway. Why are ya still hung up on him?"</p><p>"Believe me, I ask myself that all the time." You think back to last week, when one of your seatmates from your Chemistry lecture asked you on a date but you had immediately declined. He's a nice guy, and going out with him wouldn't have hurt. But you really couldn't bring yourself to be interested in dating right now. Not when person in question's not Atsumu.</p><p>"I say go for it, (Y/N). Ya might even be surprised at whatcha get out of it," says Osamu.</p><p>"I don't think being friendzoned will surprise me," you deadpan.</p><p>"C'mon, don't be like that. Besides, I wouldn't mind havin' ya as a sister-in-law." You almost fall out of your chair in surprise at Osamu's blunt statement, which earns a snarky chuckle from him.</p><p>"Your food's ready!" Mrs. Akiyama sing-songs playfully, holding two trays with your orders of onigiri on them. You feel your mouth water as she sets your tuna onigiri in front of you; you hadn't eaten since lunchtime and you're absolutely starving. You mumble a quick thanks before taking a huge bite. Osamu takes his sweet time to consider his own salmon onigiri, feeling its weight in his hand and peeking under the seaweed to observe the perfect triangular shape of the rice before eating a small, experimental bite. He chews slowly and thoughtfully, in stark contrast to the voracious way that you're devouring your own rice balls.</p><p>"Good," Osamu decides after eating a few more mouthfuls.</p><p>"I'm glad you're enjoying the food." Mrs. Akiyama's eyes sparkle. "You're Miya, right? (Y/N)'s boyfriend?" You almost choke on your rice; yes you've brought Atsumu here a few times but you're surprised that Mrs. Akiyama remembers his face and name. Maybe that's why she had thrown you that suggestive look when you had walked in with Osamu, Atsumu's carbon copy.</p><p>"Think yer talkin' 'bout my twin brother," Osamu replies easily.</p><p>"Oh. yes, I'm sorry! You two look exactly the same, except the hair." She laughs sheepishly, and Osamu shrugs it off; he's used to it.</p><p>"Nice onigiri," he compliments again. "The seasoning's excellent."</p><p>"Why, aren't you sweet!" You watch in amusement as Osamu singlehandedly wins the favor of Mrs. Akiyama with his positive critiques of the food. As you continue to eat your rice balls, your thoughts wander to what Osamu had said about finally confessing your feelings after so many years. Sure, maybe you have entertained the thought of admitting your feelings, but you don't think you'll ever have the guts to actually do it.</p><p>You glumly chew on your rice, head swimming with thoughts of what would happen if you tried. Probably Atsumu just laughing in your face and praising you for a funny joke before brushing it off. Or maybe he'd be disgusted and cut you out of his life (unlikely, really; you're just tired and when you're tired you tend to get dramatic). You don't even want to think about the possibility of him accepting and returning your feelings; you don't want to get your own imaginary hopes up.</p><p>"Why the long face?" Osamu questions after Mrs. Akiyama finishes fussing over how sweet and handsome he is (you had to refrain from rolling your eyes).</p><p>"Nothing." You quickly try to change the subject as you finish your last rice ball. "You're staying at 'Tsumu's apartment, right?" Osamu nods.</p><p>"Ya wanna swing by tonight?"</p><p>"Oh, I can't. I need to head home. I'm meeting with my study group tomorrow morning."</p><p>"On a Saturday?" he asks with a quirk of his brow. You shrug.</p><p>"I'm trying to graduate with good grades, 'Samu."</p><p>"'m sure ya could get more than just good grades with the amount of time ya spent studyin'. When was the last time ya did somethin' for yerself?"</p><p>"Hm." You stop and consider his words. It has been a while since you did anything besides study in your free hours.</p><p>"'Tsumu's probably not comin' home tonight so we could watch one of yer kiddie movies if ya want."</p><p>"They're not kiddie movies, they're <em>masterpieces,"</em> you shoot back, defending your choice of Disney for almost every movie night you participate in.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah," Osamu replies, unimpressed. "So, ya comin' or not?"</p><p>"Fine," you agree. "Only if we can watch a Disney movie."</p><p>"Not again." Osamu groans, earning a wide grin from you.</p><p>"I'm joking, I'm down to watch anything," you say. "I just missed you lots, so you can pick."</p><p>"Alright, alright, we'll decide later." He then oh-so-affectionately messes up your hair, which causes you to yelp indignantly.</p><p>On your way to Atsumu's apartment, the two of you stop by a convenience store to pick up some snacks. The two of you load a basket with popcorn, chips, and candy, lugging the armfuls of snacks all the way back to Atsumu's place.</p><p>"Hold on," Osamu says as the elevator arrives on Atsumu's floor. "I gotta get the key, can ya hold these?" Without waiting for a response, he tosses his bags of snacks into your arms, causing them to pile up and above your head, blocking your vision.</p><p>"Gee, sure thing," you mumble sarcastically, stumbling a little as you follow Osamu down the hallways. He rummages in his pockets for a bit to retrieve the key, and continues towards Atsumu's apartment with you stumbling along awkwardly behind him.</p><p>Before Osamu could unlock the door, however, it swings open. Both you and Osamu jump, not expecting Miya Atsumu to be home, standing in the doorway in just his boxers. You're thankful that the snacks in your arms are able to cover how red your face turns.</p><p>"Holy shit, 'Samu, ya coulda told me you were on yer way home, ya gave me a heart attack." Atsumu rolls his eyes at his brother. He then shifts his gaze to you (you're still struggling with the bags of food). "...And ya coulda told me you were bringin' (Y/N)."</p><p>"Hey, 'Tsumu," you greet him from behind the pile of snacks.</p><p>"C'mon, why aren't ya helpin' her?" Atsumu snaps, taking some of the snacks out of your arms and bringing them into his apartment.</p><p>"'Cause I thought ya weren't home and I was gonna try ta unlock the door," Osamu replies matter-of-factly, also moving to help you out. "Why are ya home, anyway? I thought ya had plans with someone."</p><p>"Yeah, well, I cancelled," Atsumu replies rather ruefully. "She's kinda mad at me, but s'alright. Her friend's into me and she's way hotter."</p><p>"Why are ya lookin' sad when <em>yer</em> the one who dipped?" Osamu scoffs, resulting in a nonchalant grunt from Atsumu.</p><p>You tune their conversation out as you place the remaining snacks in the pile that the twins have made on the coffee table. You never quite got used to hearing about Atsumu's many girls.</p><p>"Besides," Atsumu continues, and you can suddenly feel his gaze on you. You really hope your face isn't still red, but based on the heat that remains in your cheeks, it probably is. "I was kinda hopin' ya would bring (Y/N) here, and I wouldn't want ta miss her dumbass." Despite the offensive name, you're definitely burning up now.</p><p>"'Tsumu — " you start, but you're cut off by Atsumu pulling you into his arms, burying your face in his broad chest and resting his chin atop your head. You fight back an embarrassed squeal; he's still shirtless and you were not ready for this. And the only thought going through your head as you relax in his grip is that you never want to leave his arms. "H-hey, what brought this on?" You ask as calmly as you can, hesitantly hugging him back and trying to keep a cool head without thinking about the hard, defined muscle of his chest under your cheek.</p><p>"Missed seein' ya, that's all." He noses at your hair, subtly breathing in the scent of your strawberry shampoo that his drunken self had liked so much. Man, you really never do stop thinking about that night, do you?</p><p>"It's only been a week," you remind him, and Atsumu just sighs.</p><p>"Was the longest week of my life," he confesses, tugging you even closer and holding you like you were some kind of teddy bear that he needs to cuddle for comfort.  Your gut knots itself uncomfortably tight, and you think you can feel beads of nervous sweat start to form on your neck. "Ya know I always need ya around."</p><p>"W-Well, I'm here now," is all you can get out, still trying to keep your voice steady.</p><p>"Yeah." He removes one hand from your waist to bring his hand to your cheek, tilting your face up to meet his gaze. Your breath hitches and his does too, and for a moment you simply lose yourself in the beautiful, chocolate brown pools of his eyes. "...Yer here."</p><p>"Ahem." Osamu coughs awkwardly, and you immediately try to back away but Atsumu holds you firmly. The loving look in his eyes is now replaced with irritation as he glares at his brother.</p><p>"C'mon 'Samu, read the room," he says irritably. He gives an annoyed grunt when you successfully detach yourself from him a few seconds later in his moment of distraction.</p><p>"So!" you interrupt cheerfully before Osamu can retort. "What movie should we watch tonight?"</p><p>The twins look at each other, then back at you.</p><p>"We already know ya want one of yer little kid movies, so just choose one and let's get it over with," Atsumu jabs at you with a smirk.</p><p>"Shut up, you cried during Finding Dory," you sneer back at him. He only sticks his tongue out at you. "And put a shirt on," you add as an afterthought.</p><p>"Why? Ya think I'm hot or somethin'?" Atsumu teases with a laugh.</p><p>"No, you're ruining my appetite," you shoot back. A lie. You would just rather not have yourself be distracted by his shirtless torso for the entire night. Atsumu lets out an offended gasp.</p><p>"(Y/N)-chan, yer so mean!" he whines.</p><p>"I agree, no one wants to see ya like this," Osamu backs you up, completely straight-faced.</p><p>"Shut up, fatass," Atsumu grumbles, but ends up stomping away to his bedroom to grab a shirt anyways.</p><p>"Thanks, 'Samu." You let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding.</p><p>"Don't thank me. Just didn't wanna watch ya eye-fuck that idiot for any longer."</p><p>"I was not — !" you start to protest.</p><p>"Ya were," Osamu replies plainly.</p><p>"Was not."</p><p>"Were."</p><p>"You fucking suck."</p><p>"Yeah, Sunarin's dick." Osamu holds back a snort at your comical expression; your eyes had widened to the size of dinner plates and your jaw has dropped to the floor.</p><p>"You — "</p><p>"Didja guys miss me?" Atsumu waltzes back into the living room, a black t-shirt now covering his upper body.</p><p>"No," both you and Osamu respond in unison.</p><p>"Damn, tough crowd." He pouts as you turn his TV on, looking through Netflix for a movie to watch.</p><p>"How about Lady and the Tramp?" you suggest. Your puppy eyes, intentional or not, are too much for the twins to say no to. The two of them just sigh and nod. So, the three of you sit side-by-side on Atsumu's couch, eating the snacks that you and Osamu had bought.</p><p>"Better than Frozen at least," you hear Osamu mumble under his breath, and you choose to ignore him.</p><p>"Man, I'm gonna get home so late tonight," you say through a mouthful of potato chips. "I'm gonna have to get a taxi; the subways don't run this late."</p><p>"Just stay the night," Atsumu responds lazily. His arm is slung over the back of the couch, his other hand occupied with taking popcorn from the bowl that sits in his lap.</p><p>"But I didn't plan for it..."</p><p>"Yer already here and it's almost midnight," Atsumu insists. "You can take the guest room. 'Samu won't mind, right?"</p><p>"Of <em>course </em>not, dipshit," Osamu shoots back sarcastically. "But he's right, (Y/N). Ya shouldn't head home alone so late."</p><p>You hum. It has been a while since you've had a sleepover with your favorite (and the only ones you know) twins.</p><p>"S'ppose I'll stay," you agree.</p><p>You're not sure when it happened, but at some point into the movie Atsumu decided to break out some drinks. For himself and Osamu, nice cold beers, and for you, that 'fruity shit' that you like. It's been a while since you've drank; you're kinda a lightweight and you hate the feeling of being drunk and the hangover that follows. But, you suppose that you should take some time to loosen up, especially if you're staying the night, and this fruity drink won't do much damage; surely you'd be completely fine if not just a little buzzed.</p><p>About halfway into the movie, Osamu ends up falling asleep out of pure boredom, even to the sounds of your eager commentary of how much you're enjoying the movie. You can't help it; Lady and the Tramp was always one of your favorites growing up and that spaghetti scene —</p><p>You feel a few tears drip down your face, and you sniffle a little.</p><p>"(Y/N)," you hear Atsumu laugh from your left. "Are ya drunk?"</p><p>"No, I'm not," you reply, a little slower than usual. You take a final, pointed sip of your fruity drink. <em>Wait... </em>you squint at the label on the bottle. <em>Twenty-five percent alcohol content?! </em>"This shit is so strong, what the hell," you utter, your speech a little slurred. You’ve been actively sipping from the bottle for a while, so the alcohol is finally starting to kick into your system.</p><p>"Well, it's flavored soju, what do you expect," Atsumu replies blatantly, still boredly watching the movie. You don't say anything for a while. Confused, Atsumu glances over at you only to see you staring up at him with eyes sparkling with tears. "What?" he questions.</p><p>"'T-Tsumu," you stutter out before tears spill down your cheeks. Atsumu sighs. Right. You're an emotional drunk, and you absolutely hate that fact so you usually avoid drinking as much as you can. He supposes he should be taking some sort of responsibility since he had given you the fruit-flavored soju. He didn't know that it would be enough to make you drunk, but then again, he forgets how small you are sometimes.</p><p>"What is it?" Atsumu quips as you furiously wipe your tears away.</p><p>"I..." You slowly blink a few times. "I just..." You seem confused as well, as you're not sure what exactly you're crying about. "I..." You look back at him, and suddenly, you tear up again. "'m tired," you finally say, still sniffling. It's not that Atsumu likes seeing you cry, but you're maybe kinda adorable with your little red nose and watery eyes. He wants nothing more than to wrap you up safely in his arms and gently wipe your tears away.</p><p>"Well, let's get ya to bed them, hmm?" Atsumu hums instead of reaching for you like he wants to. You nod sleepily, yawning softly. He cracks a small smile. You're so cute to him, with your hair messy from laying around on the couch and your pretty eyes fluttering slowly. He knows you've had a long day at work, and that, along with the alcohol now in your body, is probably making you extra-tired.</p><p>Atsumu starts to move to help you off the sofa, but you stop him with a small hand on his knee. Before he can so much as open his mouth to ask what you're doing, you close the distance between the two of you, crawling right into his lap. Atsumu freezes, his jaw slackening as he watches you make yourself comfortable on his thighs, mumbling to yourself. The real kicker is when you wrap your arms around his neck before nuzzling your face against his shoulder. He almost passes out right then and there; whatever he was expecting, this was definitely <em>not</em> it.</p><p>"'Tsumu~" you sing-song happily, pressing your cheek against his shoulder and angling your head up to look at him. You're smiling far too cutely and innocently for the thoughts running through Atsumu's head in this moment. Your cheeks are flushed red from your drink, staining your face with life and your tears had suddenly disappeared, leaving behind bright, enthusiastic eyes staring expectantly up at him. Atsumu's always known that also you get rather affectionate when you're intoxicated, and he has been the object of your attention before. Usually you were happy to rest your head on his shoulder or play with his hair, but this time you seem to want to press your whole body to him, as if you're trying to get as much skin-to-skin contact as you can.</p><p>"(Y/N) — " Atsumu's cut off by his own choked groan when you shift in his lap, unintentionally rubbing yourself against him. He inhales sharply, instinctively bracing his hands on your hips. You don't pull away; rather, your cute grin seems to widen when his calloused fingers grip your sides, trying to keen into his touch. You only tilt your head cluelessly, waiting for him to continue. Atsumu takes a deep breath, quickly pulling away his greedy hands from you; he so badly wants to touch you more but he won't. He can't. He almost regrets his decision when the smile drops off your delicate features at the loss of his touch. "...I need you to get off of me so I can take you to bed," he explains to you in the calmest voice he can muster.</p><p>"B-But..." And you're all teary-eyed again. "Don't wanna..."</p><p>"You gotta," Atsumu says.</p><p>"Ya can't make me," you huff defiantly. "Yer not the boss of me." Ah, your accent. It's been a while since he's heard it. He's always preferred it over the standard Japanese accent you have now. Atsumu's heart gives a stutter of adoration for you.</p><p>"C'mon, (Y/N) — "</p><p>"Why d'ya always call me (Y/N)?" you suddenly grumble.</p><p>"Isn't that what I'm supposed ta call ya?" Atsumu replies, puzzled.</p><p>"Ya don't call<em> them </em>by their names." You frown, and Atsumu is still very confused. "Ya call them baby. Sweetheart. Princess. But never by their names."</p><p>"Ya wanna be called baby, sweetheart, or princess?" Atsumu laughs. "Ya gotta just tell yer next boyfriend that, then."</p><p>"No, 'Tsumu." You seem frustrated now. "I want <em>you</em> ta call me those names." Atsumu's chest constricts painfully because he wants to call you those too. He can't stop himself from thinking about exactly what he wants to do to you; hold you close, cup your cute face in his hands, kiss you nice and slow, mark your pretty neck to make sure everyone knows that you're his. Atsumu brushes a few strands of stray hair off of your cheek, shaking his head at the glaze over your eyes that tells him this isn't the real you. You're really that far gone, huh? He's doing his best to ignore the racing and pounding of his heart; he has the girl of his dreams in his lap but he has to remember that you're definitely intoxicated and clueless of what you're doing. He ends up covering his inner turmoil with a disbelieving scoff.</p><p>"Very funny, pipsqueak," Atsumu snorts with a condescending raise of his brow.</p><p>"'m not jokin'!" you protest, the cutest pout sitting on your lips. Atsumu looks away from you, not wanting to be tempted into trying anything. Your lips seem extra kissable when you look at him like that. If his self-control was a rubber band, then it's on the verge of finally snapping hard. Atsumu knows needs to tread carefully; he would never forgive himself if he somehow ended up taking advantage of you in any way.</p><p>"Ya don't know what yer sayin', (Y/N)," he tells you softly, staring down at his carpeted floor to avoid looking at you. But you're not having any of that. You place your delicate hands on his cheeks, forcefully turning his head to look at you.</p><p>"Course I do," you insist, running your hands down from his face to his shoulders, gripping them firmly. A chill shoots down Atsumu's spine at your actions, but you don't notice. You're sniffling again, tears starting to brim in your eyes. "Can ya just call me one of those? Just this once?" He can't find it in his heart to say no when your bottom lip wobbles. God, he really is so weak for you.</p><p>"If it'll make ya happy, baby," he says gently, and he doesn't regret his decision when your face lights up with a beautiful smile that makes the butterflies in his stomach take flight. Atsumu knows he's fallen in love with you all over again.</p><p>"Th-Thank you, 'Tsumu," you utter out through joyful tears. You happily run your fingers through his hair, playing with the light blonde locks. Atsumu just smiles, not even moving a single muscle to stop you.</p><p>"Anythin' for you." He means it. If you want him to call you pet names for the rest of your life, then he will. Atsumu would do anything to make sure you're smiling and happy for the rest of your life. But he knows your sober self will have very different opinions on the matter. In truth, you're probably just touch and affection-starved; Atsumu knows that you don't really have time to seek out romantic relationships and you probably still want to experience the feeling of being close to someone. Being intoxicated likely just allowed all of that pent-up frustration to come flying out; it's definitely not because you want affection specifically from him. Reminding himself of all of this makes the butterflies in his gut fall to the ground, dead.</p><p>"'m tired," you suddenly mumble again, letting your head fall forward to rest on his shoulder. Atsumu places a gentle, comforting hand on top of your hair.</p><p>"Alright, sleepyhead. Let's go, then," he murmurs. You nod tiredly. Atsumu picks you up, bridal-style, and carries you all the way to his own bedroom.</p><p>"Yer warm," you purr quietly, nuzzling your cheek against the solid expanse of his chest.</p><p>"Am I?" Atsumu quips, as he nears his bed. You let out a cry of protest when he places you on his bed, as you immediately missed the warmth of being pressed against him. Still, you're too sleepy to do say anything else for a bit, and you allow him to tuck you under the soft, fluffy blankets of his bed.</p><p>"...Yeah," you finally reply after a few moments. "Feels nice." You give him another breathtaking smile. Atsumu flushes a little, turning his head in embarrassment. He's never felt this flustered around a girl before, but of course you're not just any girl, you're <em>you</em>. And that makes all the difference.</p><p>"Sleep well, (Y/N)." You pout. "<em>Sweetheart,</em>" he corrects himself, chuckling slightly.</p><p>"Stay with me?" you plead with wide, teary eyes. Atsumu almost gives in. He really does. Wrapping you in his arms and keeping you nice and warm, just as you liked, seemed oh so appealing. Atsumu would get to spoon you from behind, kiss your cheeks until you drift off, and fall asleep with you snug in his embrace just like he's dreamed about for so many years. The desire to give in and climb under the covers with you threatens to overtake him for a moment. But then you slur out a few incoherent words, gaze unfocused, and he reminds himself that this isn't <em>you</em>.</p><p>"Don't think so, sorry." Atsumu ruffles your hair affectionately when you whine in protest, about to cry again. No wonder you always avoid alcohol. You're very different when you're intoxicated, so much more needy and vulnerable. He's relieved that you're with him at least; he can't stand the thought of you being like this around someone else who might use you for their own selfish purposes.</p><p>Then again, at times, Atsumu isn't sure if he can even protect you from himself.</p><p>Your eyelids are starting to droop, despite your continued pleading to get him to stay. "Don't leave..." you mutter, your small hand wrapping itself around his fingers, clutching them weakly as you blink sleepily. "'Tsumu... don't go..."</p><p>"'m not goin' anywhere, don't worry," he tells you to get you to relax. Your eyelids flutter slightly a few more times.</p><p>"Jus' stay here," you mumble. "With me. No one else."</p><p>"Just with you," Atsumu repeats. "No one else."</p><p>"Promise?"</p><p>"Promise." A small smile crosses your lips as you drift off.</p><p>"Night, 'Tsumu," you say as you slowly fall asleep to the sensation of Atsumu gently running his fingers through your hair.</p><p>"Night, princess," he whispers tenderly just as you fall into slumber, your breathing steady and your eyes peacefully closed. Atsumu reluctantly releases his hand from yours, watching you grimace slightly from the loss of contact, but you stay asleep.  He looks at you for a while longer, the traitorous part deep within him screaming at him to wrap you in his arms and go to sleep himself. But then he thinks about how awkward that would be when the two of you woke up. Hell, would you even remember what happened tonight?</p><p>Atsumu sighs, brushing the back of his knuckles against your soft cheek before shaking his head. <em>Probably not.</em> He needs to get back to the living room and turn off the TV anyway; it's still playing peppy classic Disney music that he wants to shut off as soon as possible. Atsumu can't help but look back at you one more time before he stands up. He leans down to press two kisses — one on each of your eyelids — to your beautiful, sleeping face. He lets his gaze wander tauntingly down to your soft-looking lips, staring at them unabashedly and longingly. He wonders, not for the first time, how very sweet you'll taste in a kiss. Atsumu forces himself to take a few steps back. No. He can't and won't do anything without your explicit, <em>sober</em> permission.</p><p>He quietly makes his way out the bedroom door, heart still pounding from the memories of your words and touch. You've never acted like that around him before. You would probably die with embarrassment if he told you how you had acted tonight. Maybe high school Atsumu would've teased you, but right now he couldn't even bring himself to so much as crack a smile over the whole ordeal, knowing in his heart that he wants this to be real so badly. If everything that you said and did tonight was truly of your own accord, Atsumu would've already pulled you into his arms and never let go.</p><p>As Atsumu plants himself on the couch next to his still-sleeping brother, the ending credits of Lady and the Tramp playing idly in the background, all he can think about is you (this hasn't been a rare occurrence lately). You had looked so perfect in his arms and on his lap, like you truly belonged there. You were so happy to receive his touch, snuggling into his embrace and smiling that adorable smile of yours. Atsumu wants to believe that at least a small part of you wanted all of it. But he knows that was all wishful thinking; you likely won't even remember this by tomorrow.</p><p>He glumly stares up at the ceiling of his apartment, an empty feeling threatening to consume him.</p><p>-</p><p>You wake up in a bed that's not yours.</p><p>You're bundled underneath warm, thick, dark blue sheets. You're still dressed in your casual clothes from last night, a t-shirt and a pair of jean shorts. There's a minor headache pounding away at your temples, but nothing horrible. More so, you're just very confused at where you are.</p><p>You sit up, looking around the place, and your eyes zero in on a picture frame on the night stand. It's you and Atsumu on your graduation day. His arm is haphazardly thrown across your shoulder, and the two of you are wearing huge, bright smiles as you pose for the camera.</p><p><em>How did I end up in his room again?</em> Your memory is foggy. All you can remember is watching Lady and Tramp last night with the twins, but you couldn't even remember when you fell asleep. Oh well, you do suppose drinking alcohol makes you sleepy, so you shouldn't be surprised that you had fallen asleep quickly after —</p><p>You freeze in the process of getting out of Atsumu's bed.</p><p>Suddenly, you remember.</p><p>Climbing into Atsumu's lap, laying yourself all over him, begging him to call you sweet names, pleading with him to stay with you — all of it comes rushing back. You know you're not good at handling your alcohol, but you can't believe that your inhibitions had been completely thrown out the window. It must've been so uncomfortable for him! What the hell were you thinking? You should've known better than to ignore the label on a bottle before downing the whole thing. You bury your face in your hands, groaning exasperatedly, hardly believing the extent of your own stupidity.</p><p>So much for keeping your feelings a secret forever.</p><p>God, Atsumu will never let you live this down. That, or he'll never speak to you again.</p><p>You decide to bite the bullet and face the consequences as soon as you can. You quickly freshen yourself up in his bathroom (he also has a designated toothbrush waiting for you). You stare gloomily at your own reflection in the glass. It's almost ironic, how a few months ago <em>he</em> had been drunk and made weird comments and moves on you. But the slate had been wiped clean because he didn't remember even arriving at your apartment. This time, on the other hand, you recall <em>everything </em>that had happened while you were intoxicated. You just don't know how to approach this; how the hell would things stay the same, now?</p><p>When you walk out into the living area, Osamu is making breakfast while Atsumu is sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone. Neither of them notice your presence until you mumble out a meek, "Good morning."</p><p>"Mornin'," Osamu greets, hardly looking up from the fried rice he's making. Atsumu, on the other hand, jumps to attention, his eyebrows practically shooting off the top of his head upon seeing you just a few feet away from him.</p><p>"Mornin'!" he says a little too loudly. You cringe; oh God, this cannot be good.</p><p>"Listen..." you tell him lowly. "About last night..." He cuts you off with a laugh.</p><p>"Oh, right, the soju made ya all tired and loopy. Sorry 'bout that; I didn't know it'd be too much for ya." Atsumu grins easily and calmly, although the rapid tapping of his fingers against the fabric of the couch convey different feelings.</p><p>"I just — " He interrupts you again.</p><p>"Don't worry, I took care of ya. Ya need painkillers or somethin'?" Atsumu asks casually. You blink rapidly in confusion, coming to the realization that he thinks you don't remember last night. Is that why he's trying to pretend like nothing happened?</p><p>"I'm good, 'Tsumu," you say, forcing yourself to smile. "Thanks for helping me out."</p><p>There's a moment where the two of you lock eyes. Atsumu's chocolate brown gaze seems to burn right through you, seeing through the cheerful facade that you're attempting to put on. Something changes in his eyes as he stares at you, and then you know. You <em>know</em>, that <em>he</em> knows that you <em>do</em> remember. He, too, paints on a smile.</p><p>"No problem at all, <em>(Y/N)</em>."</p><p>You both know that you've finally reached the point of no return.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks for reading! please leave any thoughts you have in the comments, i really want to hear your opinions on this shit story helpppp</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is longest and worst chapter thus far in terms of writing quality and plot development. I just. Don't know what this complete trainwreck is. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore. But I've been slaving over this update for the past three months and finally just got tired of it so I went ahead and posted it. I'm really fucking sorry. Please don't hate me because I've already been yelling at myself for creating this horrid shit. I don't even know why I'm still doing this. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK PLEASE DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>CHECK AUTHOR'S NOTES BEFORE U START READING THIS SHIT I'M BEGGING YOU</strong>
</p><p>You suck your teeth in frustration, staring hard at the last question on your Chemistry exam. You could swear up and down that you studied this topic just last night in your final cram session before the big day, but your brain just can’t seem to come up with a response that doesn’t sound like complete bullshit.</p><p>You will forever question why you are required to take so many science classes when your business major is never gonna require the ability to balance chemical equations or recite the periodic table.</p><p>A literal lightbulb goes off in your head as you finally formulate a reasonable answer. You glance up at the wall clock at the front of the room and realize you only have a minute left to write whatever you could onto your paper before time is up. Your heart rate picks up considerably as you begin to hurriedly scrawl your answer as fast as your poor hand (which has already been aching for days thanks to the many final papers and practice questions you’ve been spending your time on) possibly can.</p><p>Not a second after you dot in a period at the end of your last hastily-written sentences, the bell rings, signaling the end of class — and your semester exams. One more semester of hell and you’ll be done with university.</p><p>After your professor collects everyone’s exams, you pack up your things and join the crowds of students in the hallways that are eagerly pushing their way out of the building and to the freedom of semester break. You just can’t wait to get back to your apartment and crack open the fridge to grab some of that delicious green tea ice cream that Mika had made for you to celebrate the end of the semester. The thought of the dessert that’s waiting at home makes your mouth water and you’re so relieved that you can relax for a few weeks before the school starts up again —</p><p>“(L/N)! Wait up!” Someone jogs up to fall in step beside you. It’s Ryota, a boy who you rejected the affections of a while back. You still feel a little guilty about it, especially since he’s your seatmate in Chemistry and he always greets you politely despite the fact that you turned him down.</p><p>“Hey, Ryota.” You smile at him. He looks a little flustered as he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck with his right hand, eyes darting around and looking everywhere but directly at you.</p><p>“Um…” He finally looks in your general direction with considerable difficulty. “I just wanted you to know that… my offer… it’s still open…” Ryota trails off into a mumble and he stares at his shoes. “If you ever decide to — I mean, really, only if you want to — give me a chance, um, just call me.”</p><p>You bite your bottom lip, gaze falling down to the ground as well. “…Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” Truthfully, you probably won’t. Ryota’s a nice kid and you enjoyed working with him during labs (he’s usually quite the jokester and very loud during class, always making you laugh) but you just don’t want to lead him on. He deserves someone that’s not already head over heels for someone else.</p><p>You mentally scream at the reminder of that <em>someone else. </em>You managed to remove him from your thoughts for the past few weeks while you were studying but now it’s all starting to hit full-force and you’re just not ready to think about the sticky situation you’d gotten yourself into.</p><p>“Have a good semester break, (L/N).” Ryota waves goodbye to you, and you return the gesture. You can see a bit of hurt reflecting in his expression, and you really do feel kinda bad. But you know it’s for the best in the long run.</p><p>You pick up your pace as you finally exit the building, now officially starting your walk home. There’s a giant billboard that looms over an intersection that you’re waiting to cross, and you only grimace upon seeing the familiar image. MSBY Black Jackals, ambassadors for Adidas.</p><p>The red hand signal on the other side of the street seems to linger longer than usual as your traitorous eyes wander to the billboard, drinking in the picture once again. You know on the other side of the billboard are Meian, Shion, Adriah, and Oliver; you sort of wish that was the side facing you at the moment. But no, Bokuto, Hinata, and Sakusa, each decked out and posing in Adidas wear, beam (well, in Sakusa’s case, glower) down at you. And at the far right is Atsumu, a wide grin on his features as he bites his bottom lip in what you suppose was an attempt to be sexy (you remember that you had teased and laughed at him for days after that photoshoot).</p><p>Your stare longingly up at his advertisement, a knot tying itself in your stomach. You walk by this advertisement every day on your way home, yet you still stop and stare each time. Right now, it's a reminder that you need to find time to properly talk to him soon. This stupid tension between the two of you needs to be resolved.</p><p>You sigh, tearing your eyes away as a pedestrian behind you shouts, “Hey, lady! Stop staring at those pretty boys and move it!” You jump, sheepishly ducking your head down before hurrying across the street.</p><p>You're determinedly staring straight ahead this time.</p><p>“Hey!” Mika greets you cheerfully as you walk into your shared apartment, tossing your keys into the fish-shaped dish that you keep them in. Atsumu never liked that dish, always saying that it's creepy and —</p><p>“Hi, Mika.” You force a smile on your face, shoving the thought of Atsumu out your head.</p><p>“How were your exams?” She’s already moving to get her homemade ice cream out of the fridge, and a small spark of excitement ignites in your chest at the reminder of the treat.</p><p>“Fine,” you reply. You figure you at least passed everything.</p><p>“Oh, come on. Don’t be like that! You worked so hard, bet you aced everything.” Mika grins, holding out a spoon and a cup of ice cream. “Eat this, you deserve it.”</p><p>“Thanks.” You accept the treat and sit down at the kitchen table, eagerly digging in without another word.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Mika peers concernedly at you as she scoops a portion for herself. “You just finished your second-to-last semester! You should be proud of yourself.”</p><p>“It’s not that.” You stuff another spoonful of ice cream in your mouth. It’s absolutely delicious, but you can hardly focus on the taste.</p><p>“Worried about next semester already, huh?” Mika chuckles. “It’s alright, time will fly by fast. And before you know it, you’ll be all done.” Mika’s a year older than you and graduated last year with a nursing degree. She quickly found a job as a nurse at a nearby hospital. Speaking of jobs, you really need to land a solid one soon in preparation for graduation. You’ve been digging through endless advertisements for good openings to no avail.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess so,” you hum casually, glancing distractedly down at the tiled kitchen floor.</p><p>“Okay, seriously. Tell me what’s up.” Mika arches an eyebrow at you. “You’re acting really weird.”</p><p>“Nothing.” You finish your ice cream and take the opportunity to escape Mika's suspicious stare by getting to your feet to wash your spoon and empty cup in the kitchen sink. “I think I’m just gonna take a nap. I’m really tired.”</p><p>“Alright, rest well then,” comes your roommate’s baffled voice as you quickly make your way to your shared bedroom, hardly glancing in her direction as you go.</p><p>You collapse onto your bed face-first, stuffing your face into your fluffy pillow before letting out a muffled scream that you’ve been holding in for way too long. Now that your studies are finally out of the way for time being, the elephant in the room is finally making its presence known once again. You roll over onto your back after a few minutes of lying there like a dead fish only to stare hopelessly up at the ceiling.</p><p>It’s been two weeks since Osamu came to visit, and since he’s left you haven’t really been in contact with Atsumu. The two of you have barely texted since that day, and your conversations were brief and dry. The day you spent with him and Osamu after the whole embarrassing ordeal from the night before had been nothing short of ‘awkward as hell’. The two of you had subconsciously wedged Osamu between you throughout the day, whether when it was just walking down the street or sitting at a restaurant. You had come to a silent mutual agreement to not speak about what had happened, and like the very socially-inept children you are, decided to make it even more uncomfortable for yourselves instead of talking it out like actual adults.</p><p>It shouldn't be such a big deal — except it is. You both know you were drunk (yet he doesn't know that you meant every word you said) and you should've just been able to laugh it all off. Instead of that, the two of you have just chosen to ignore the other's existence for two weeks. You've never gone this long in your entire life without at least a short phone call. It's so bizarre; a little thing like that shouldn't be breaking your friendship apart but here you are.</p><p>Several times, you’ve clicked on Atsumu’s contact, about to send him a message, before a sick feeling in your stomach stops you from doing so. You still don’t quite understand why that’s happening; he’s supposed to be your best friend, for God’s sake. And yet, you can’t bring yourself to say anything, too anxious to see what might happen if you do. It’s not like he’s tried to message you either, so maybe he doesn’t even <em>want</em> you to say something.</p><p>You shift over to your right side, spotting your stack of textbooks sitting near your desk. You scowl at the familiar sight. You've had many fantasies about burning your textbooks in recent times but they were so damn expensive that you figured that doing so would go against your best interest. Still, as you eye the books sitting there so innocently, you’re having second thoughts.</p><p>You really think you’re losing it.</p><p><em>Just stop distracting yourself and call him already, </em>a voice in your head chides. <em>What’s the worst that can happen?</em></p><p>You suppose you should really try and put that night behind you; it’s been so long already and there’s no purpose in dwelling on it for however more days and weeks are to come. Plus, now that your exams are over, you don’t have an excuse to keep ignoring the situation. You sigh deeply, rubbing tiredly at your eyes. It’s time to actually attempt proper communication, something that you and Atsumu definitely haven’t been practicing for a while now.</p><p>You fish your phone out of your pocket. You stare blankly at the last conversation you had with him. It was from three days ago. He had asked you if you had borrowed his Black Jackals hoodie. You said no. He did not respond.</p><p>You sigh again before pulling up Atsumu’s contact pressing ‘Call’. You can’t help but crack a smile at his familiar name and photo. He had insisted that his contact name be “THE SEXIEST GUY YOU KNOW” with a plethora of fire and smirking cat emojis, while his photo is a double-chinned selfie taken while he was pooping out a “fat shit” as he had so kindly informed you when he sent you the picture over Snapchat. God, you really hate him sometimes.</p><p>Your peaceful train of thought is interrupted by a shrill female voice screeching, “Hello?” You blink, startled. That’s definitely not Atsumu on the other end of the line. “I said, hello?!”</p><p>“Oh, um.” You mentally scold yourself for how small your voice comes out. You clear your throat, continuing, “Can you put Atsumu on the phone?”</p><p>“Sorry.” She doesn’t sound sorry at all. “Miya-san is too busy to talk to you.”</p><p>"Really?" You don't hide the annoyance in your tone. "What's he so busy with?"</p><p>"Taking a shower," the girl replies rather nastily. "And then he'll be spending time with <em>me</em>. Don't bother calling back." Then there's a beep as she hangs up.</p><p>"What the hell." You scowl down at your phone. You've talked to several of Atsumu's girls before, and while they're always a bit wary of you, they've never treated you this rudely. You don't hesitate to call Atsumu's number again, irritation now flooding your senses.</p><p>"I thought I told you not to call back," the girl reminds you unpleasantly.</p><p>"Get him on the phone," you reply lowly and threateningly. "Now."</p><p>"And why should I?" she sneers, although you hear a little waver in her voice. <em>So, all talk and no bite, huh?</em></p><p>"That's none of your business. I just need you to <em>get him on the phone</em>."</p><p>"Or what?"</p><p>"Believe me, ya don't wanna find out. Yer gettin' on my nerves." Clearly she's intimidated by your sudden Kansai accent, because she lets out this pathetic, high-pitched squeak. A few moments later, you're met with a huff and angered stomping, and you're assuming the girl is going to find Atsumu.</p><p>"Some bitch wants to talk to you," you hear her say, and you scoff at her choice of words.</p><p>"Tell her ta call me later."</p><p>"She's insisting on talking to you."</p><p>"Well she oughtta stop bein' so clingy. I'll get back ta her when I can." You can practically hear the eyeroll in his tone.</p><p>"You heard him," the girl tells you triumphantly.</p><p>"Just go find some other guy ta fuck, eh? Throw yerself at someone else." You realize that Atsumu's addressing you, and you immediately blanch. At first, Atsumu's voice, familiar and deep, created a sense of comfort within you. Now he's talking to you like you're one of his many flings, and your blood runs cold. She hadn't even bothered to tell him who exactly is calling. He'd just assumed that you were another clingy girl he messed around with. You know you should say something, anything, to announce your presence and tell him off for saying that. But you can't. You're speechless and gawking.</p><p>With one last triumphant giggle, the girl hangs up, and you let her this time.</p><p>-</p><p>Sweat runs down Atsumu's neck as he lays, bare and naked, beside his fuck buddy for the day. He needed some stress relief before practice tonight, and thus called this girl over for a quickie. She wasn't horrible in bed, but she could definitely be better.</p><p>For example, she should learn to shut the fuck up sometimes.</p><p>"God, that girl was so annoying!" She keeps going on and on about that 'bitch' on the phone earlier. Atsumu, frankly, cannot care less. But the more she rants and raves about whoever had called him earlier, he gets pretty curious about who it possibly could've been.</p><p>"...And she had an accent like yours, too! And — "</p><p>"What?" Atsumu freezes, his eyes going wide and his shoulders tensing. His fling glares at him.</p><p>"I <em>said</em> she had an accent like yours — "</p><p>"What the fuck." Immediately, Atsumu sits up and grabs his phone off his bedside table. You're the only girl he keeps in contact with that (occasionally, when you're emotional or pissed off) has a Kansai accent. <em>This has to be a joke</em> —</p><p>Your contact in the call log, from about an hour ago, stares tauntingly back at him.</p><p>"Get out," is all Atsumu could mutter.</p><p>"Excuse me?" his partner scoffs. "You said we were going for a round two!"</p><p>"Get out," he repeats, turning his head to scowl at her. "<em>Get the fuck out.</em>"</p><p>"Fine. Don't bother calling me again, jerk." She haughtily tosses her hair over her shoulder as she quickly puts her clothes back on before grabbing her things and trying to fix her disheveled appearance in the mirror. She gives Atsumu the middle finger before storming out of his bedroom, and a few moments later there's the slam of his apartment's front door.</p><p>Atsumu just groans, loudly, laying back in his bed in complete disbelief at his own stupidity. Why hadn't he thought to at least look at who's calling before saying something?</p><p>You probably think lowly of him now. He wouldn't blame you. Atsumu knows that he should never talk to anyone, whether if be you or someone else, like that, and he had planned on briefly apologizing to whoever it was on the phone because believe it or not, he actually has some sense of decent morals. But he's not exactly a saint either, and he's sure you know that. Still, he's never talked to you so coldly before. Those biting words would never be purposely aimed at you. Ever.</p><p>Since that night two weeks ago, all that's been on Atsumu's mind is you. It didn't matter how many girls he took out on dates or brought into his bed; all he can think about is the feeling of you pressed against him in his lap, with your pretty face so tantalizingly close to him and your sweet voice calling out to him to stay. And God, he had wanted to. He had wanted to so badly, to satisfy his burning desire to just hold you close and whisper sweet nothings in your ears until you fell asleep.</p><p>He hasn't been able to pluck up the courage to have a proper conversation with you since. He knows it's stupid, but he's never praised himself for being the smartest guy. You mean the absolute world to him, and he hates how the two of you have been avoiding each other — it's pointless, and he knows it.</p><p>Atsumu calls you back after a small moment of hesitation. It rings once. Twice. Three times.</p><p>"Hello?" Your voice. God, your voice. Merely hearing you say one word sends chills racing down Atsumu's spine, his throat running dry and his heart rate speeding up.</p><p>"...Hey." His voice comes out small and soft. "Sorry 'bout earlier. I... I didn't know it was you." Atsumu swallows nervously when you don't answer right away. He can hear his heart pounding in his ears. He licks his lips in anticipation, his palms growing sweaty as he anxiously waits for your reply.</p><p>"S'okay." Your response is short and blunt. "Don't worry."</p><p>"Alright. Good. Good." Atsumu nods a few times, even though you can't see. He runs a frustrated hand through his beach blonde hair, annoyed that you sound so distant and detached — how did everything get to this point?</p><p>There's an awkward silence.</p><p>"Gotta go, 'Tsumu," you say suddenly, and you hang up before Atsumu can even begin to form any words of protest.</p><p>The 'Beep' tauntingly echoes in Atsumu's ear.</p><p>His fist clenches around his phone, teeth gritting in frustration and his chest throbbing with despair.</p><p>-</p><p>You know that was an idiot move.</p><p>But hell, you panicked, okay?</p><p>You know you should've stayed on the line and tried to talk things out with Atsumu instead of running away like you frequently have been lately. It had just been so painful to clearly sense the awkwardness in his tone throughout the conversation, that you couldn't stand being on the phone with him any longer.</p><p>You're still laying in bed. You haven't moved since you called Atsumu the first time. You don't think you will anytime soon. You know that Atsumu wouldn't have said those words had he known it was you on the other side of the line but you can't help but feel sick to your stomach, anyway. You shouldn't be holding this against him, but the phone call made you vividly realize the current state of your relationship. <em>What's going on with him? Is he actually that disturbed that I tried to make moves on him while I was drunk?</em> Your heart aches dully at the reminder of that night. He had been so awkward and uncomfortable in the morning, hardly even able to look at you. <em>Do I disgust him that much?</em></p><p>You shake the thoughts out of your head. That's not important right now. What you should be focusing on is getting your best friend back. You shouldn't be worrying about whether Atsumu returns your feelings or not. You just want to talk to him again. Get things back to the way they were.</p><p>You decide that you'll try to catch him at the end of his practice tomorrow. You can ask Bokuto what time their practice will end, and you'll stop by the gym to see Atsumu.</p><p>You'll try to make things right.</p><p>-</p><p>Bokuto and Hinata are waiting for you near the entrance of the gym, and rush to greet you as soon as you enter.</p><p>"Hey, (Y/N)-chan! Long time no see!" Bokuto claps his hand on your shoulder in a friendly manner, making you involuntarily wince at the sheer force behind it.</p><p>"Hi, Kou." A tangerine head peeks out from behind Bokuto. "And hey there, Shouyou-kun."</p><p>"(Y/N)-san! It's nice to see you again!" Hinata grins widely.</p><p>"You too." You smile warmly. "And hello, Sakusa-san." The curly-haired man gives you a respectful nod in passing as he leaves the gym.</p><p>"Atsumu-san's still in the locker room. Want us to show you where it is?" Hinata offers helpfully.</p><p>"Sure, Shouyou. That'd be great." You follow Bokuto and Hinata into the gym and towards the locker rooms. You're struggling a bit to keep up with their long, fast-paced strides, but they don't seem to notice as they continue to chatter enthusiastically.</p><p>"Hey, please slow d — " You lost them. How the hell did you fucking lose them?</p><p>They were right in front of you, chattering away, and they rounded some corner and... disappeared?</p><p>You cluelessly look left and right. You're inside the massive locker room, with multiple hallways and rooms designated for different teams. You decide to find someone who can hopefully give you directions.</p><p>You hesitantly go left, where you can hear people talking from behind one of the doors on that side. You pull down on the handle, pulling the door open with a too-loud 'Creak!'</p><p>Ten or so heads turn towards you in curiosity.</p><p>Your cheeks immediately color, because you've just peeked into a room full of half-naked men with towels around their waists.</p><p><em>Fuck, fuck, fuck.</em> You compose yourself as quickly as you can, forcing a polite smile onto your face.</p><p>"Excuse me, where can I find the Black Jackals' locker room?"</p><p>"Who's asking?" one of the men questioned suspiciously. You bite your bottom lip nervously.</p><p>"I — "</p><p>"Oh, c'mon! Don't be so uptight!" A man with sandy hair steps forward. "I'll take you there, follow me!" He smiles at you, but you're a little skeptical of the weird gleam in his eyes. Like he knows who you are, and has some kind of malicious intent.</p><p>The man strides out into the hallway, still only wearing a towel wrapped around his waist, and throws a casual arm across your shoulders. You grimace, inching away.</p><p>"Do I know you?" you blurt out.</p><p>"You're (L/N), right? Seen you with Miya before." The male smirks, raising his eyebrows. "I'm Nakamura. Starting setter for the Blue Eagles. Practiced with your man today."</p><p>"He's not 'my man', and stop touching me." Your tone is cold. "Thank you for offering to show me to the Jackals' locker room. Please lead the way."</p><p>"Harsh." Nakamura laughs carelessly, but takes his arm off of you. "Right this way, Ice Queen."</p><p>You strongly dislike him already.</p><p>Nakamura leads you down the hallways to another door, but before either of you can reach for the handle it bursts open to reveal a very worried Hinata.</p><p>"(Y/N)-san! There you are! Sorry we lost you!" Hinata's concerned expression fades into a mixture of confusion and irritation as he notices smugly smiling Nakamura standing next to you. "...What are <em>you</em> doing here?"</p><p>"Just showing the little lady the way to get here." Nakamura's shamelessly eyeing you like a piece of meat. If it wasn't against your better judgement, you'd slap him right about now.</p><p>"Thanks." You barely look at him. "See you a — "</p><p>You're cut off as someone pushes past Hinata and pulls you into their bulky, brawny arms.</p><p>"What the hell did I say last time? Didn't I tell ya to never come near her again?" Atsumu sounds enraged, his grip on you unrelenting as he presses you against his bare chest.</p><p><em>...What does he mean by 'last time'? </em>you wonder briefly before flushing.<em> Oh my God, how many half-naked men am I going to see today... </em>You mentally die a little inside.</p><p>"Fucking relax, dude. I wasn't trying anything." Nakamura is still chuckling, but now with a note of fear.</p><p>"Get out of my sight before I break your nose." Atsumu takes a threatening step forward, and although you can't see his face, you can tell that he's genuinely furious by the clenching of his fingers into the fabric of your shirt. For a moment, you think Atsumu's actually about to pounce on Nakamura, as you feel his muscles tense threateningly.</p><p>"Prick," Nakamura sneers one last time. You breathe a sigh of relief as the sound of his footsteps disappear down the hall.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Atsumu's large hands cup your cheeks and lift your face so he can look at you properly. Hinata slinks away to give you two privacy. Atsumu inspects you carefully, his chocolate eyes scanning you for any sign of harm. "Did he touch ya? Did he hurt ya?"</p><p>"No, no, I'm fine." You push his hands away and wriggle out of his grip. You need to focus, and you definitely can't do that when you're smushed against his naked torso. Atsumu watches you with a slightly wounded expression as you remove yourself from your embrace. "He doesn't matter. I came here to see <em>you</em>."</p><p>Atsumu's features soften. "Ya came to — "</p><p>"Baby!" a high-pitched, whining voice comes from deeper in the locker room. "Hurry up! What's taking so long?" Both your and Atsumu's heads snap towards where a woman, dressed only in her bra and underwear, has her arms crossed on her chest as she leans back against the lockers. But then her cheeks color a little when she notices you and she flushes in slight embarrassment. "Oh..." she trails off.</p><p>"You were..." A horrid wave of realization washes over you as you finally notice Atsumu's disheveled hair, the hickeys on his neck and chest, the scratch marks on his biceps, the hint of red lipstick smeared on his mouth —</p><p>"Ah, I..." Atsumu trails off as well, clearly uncomfortable.</p><p>"Don't worry, you can have him next," she calls to you in what you suppose is an attempt at a friendly tone, but only makes you nauseous. You smile weakly back at her, not even having the energy to tell her that you're not here for a hook-up (although Atsumu himself shoots her an offended look).</p><p>"You should go to her." You don't even recognize your own voice. It's deadly calm, the opposite of what you're feeling inside right now. You want to cry. Or scream. Or both.</p><p>
  <em>You're still not used to your best friend having flings after so many years? Pathetic.</em>
</p><p>"(Y/N) — " You turn away, walking right out of the locker room. Hinata and Bokuto scramble to follow after you, wanting to make sure you don't get lost again.</p><p>"We didn't know," Hinata tells you lowly, but you don't reply. It's not anyone's fault but your own that you still can't stand seeing Atsumu with another woman.</p><p>"She's not supposed to be in there anyway; Meian will probably kick his butt when he finds out," Bokuto reassures you. You muster a weak nod of appreciation for their efforts.</p><p>Hinata and Bokuto don't say anything as they accompany you back the entrance, but you can feel their lingering, apologetic looks of slight pity.</p><p>-</p><p>"(Y/N)." You jump when Mika's voice enters your ears, and almost cut yourself with the knife you're using to chop carrots. You clear your throat awkwardly and set down the knife, turning to face your roommate, who looks very confused. "Are you alright? You've been really jumpy lately. Did something happen?" Truthfully, Mika's been extremely worried about you. You've always been a pretty upbeat and collected person, even under stress. Seeing you look so detached and on-edge for the past month rubs Mika the wrong way. It's just so unlike you. At first, she had chalked it up to you being concerned about exams, yet you're still acting strange even though they're over now.</p><p>"No, I've just been... um, stressed about work," you say, your voice coming out a few octaves higher than normal. Mika casts you a skeptical look, making it very clear that she didn't believe a single word of your bullshit.</p><p>"Aren't you taking fewer shifts during your semester break to rest?" she reminds you. You chew nervously on your bottom lip, letting out a nervous laugh.</p><p>"Right," you reply, going back to cutting carrots. Mika thankfully changes the subject.</p><p>"What are you making?" she asks, taking a seat at the kitchen table to watch you cook.</p><p>"Oh, a bento." You gesture to the freshly-prepared fatty tuna sitting on a bed of cooked rice already in a container.</p><p>"For who?" Mika presses. You swallow, almost stabbing your own finger again in your distracted state.</p><p>"...'Tsumu," you say after a beat. "I'm gonna visit him tonight." It's been about a week since the locker room incident, and neither of you have said anything to the other. The silence is absolutely killing you, and you decided to suck it up and go over with a peace offering: his favorite fatty tuna bento. You hope that it'll be able to clear the tension between the two of you and things could go back to normal. Well, as normal as they can possibly be.</p><p>"I've been meaning to ask; how is Atsumu? You haven't been hanging around him lately," Mika notes. You stiffen. "Alright, so you don't wanna talk about it. It's okay."</p><p>"No, no, I..." you trail off, putting down your kitchen knife to rub the back of your hand against your right eye, sighing slightly. "...It's kinda complicated."</p><p>"So I can tell," Mika comments dryly.</p><p>"This time, I just don't know how to fix it." You feel your shoulders tremble a little, and you quickly force yourself to calm down. You've never been the open-book type; talking about your feelings has always been difficult for you. Thus, when you're put on the spot like this, it's hard for you to open up.</p><p>"You're both still in love with each other?" Mika quips.</p><p>"H-Huh?" You look up at her in surprise. "What are you talking about?"</p><p>"Even when I barely knew you back in high school, it was obvious." She raises her eyebrows. "I saw the two of you <em>twice</em> in my life before we became roommates. And even I knew you and Atsumu had something going on."</p><p>"There was nothing," you reply glumly. "You know I like him, but he doesn't feel the same."</p><p>"Oh, <em>sweetie</em>." She gives you a look of pity, which only serves to confuse you.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"(Y/N), honey, I thought you were smart." Mika sighs. "Do I need to spell it out for you? Atsumu's just as in love with you as you are with him. Maybe even more so." You've already stopped listening, turning your attention back to making Atsumu's bento.</p><p>"He's really not," you say . "It's nice of you to say that, though." Mika briefly considers slamming her head against the table in pure frustration. "I wish I had a relationship like you and Daishou-san do."</p><p>"Believe me, dating him isn't easy either." She rolls her eyes. "He literally acts like he's five years old. Sometimes I feel like I'm more like his mom than his girlfriend." You both chuckle a bit. "I wouldn't trade him for the world, though."</p><p>"Yeah." You smile, a little wistfully, as you sautee the carrots and some broccoli in a pan. "Maybe one day I'll find someone that I can love like that."</p><p>Mika just hopelessly shakes her head behind your back. "Something tells me you don't need to look too far."</p><p>You don't reply, occupied with cooking the vegetables and looking as lost as ever.</p><p>-</p><p>You realize that maybe you should've texted Atsumu before you came to his apartment, because you completely forgot that you don't even have a key card to enter the building. You can see the silhouette of the security guard lurking inside. The guard is big and beefy; could definitely knock you out with a punch or two. <em>Don't be stupid, (Y/N), he's not gonna hurt you. </em>You think about calling up Atsumu, but you, for some reason, decide against that notion in favor of walking up to the door. You breathe a sigh of relief when you realize that the guard on duty is a middle-aged man called Aito, who you've encountered many times over the years and recognizes your face.</p><p>"Hi, (Y/N)!" he greets you as he opens the door for you with a smile. "Here to see Atsumu?"</p><p>"Yup." You hold up the homemade bento, which is nearly tucked away in a plastic grocery bag. "Surprising him with this."</p><p>"I'm sure he'll love it." Aito laughs heartily. "Kid's a real hotshot now, huh? All famous and stuff. I see his face everywhere."</p><p>"Sure is." You hum. "He's worked hard for all of this."</p><p>"Right he has." Aito gestures toward the elevator. "Well, don't keep him waiting!"</p><p>"Thanks, Aito." You quickly wave goodbye before hurrying towards the elevator. You press the button for the seventh floor. Your hands suddenly start getting clammy as the elevator goes up and up and up, your heart rate speeding up a bit. You have to keep reminding yourself to stay calm; there's no reason to panic. He's your best friend, after all. He'll be happy to see you.</p><p>Probably.</p><p>Him not saying anything after the awkward misunderstanding last week really did hurt you. Did he not care enough about you to even bother even sending a simple text or two?</p><p>By the time you arrive at the seventh floor, you're thinking about closing the elevator doors and going right back to the lobby. You're seriously tempted, but the weight of the bento in your hand reminds you that you came here for a reason: to finally resolve the odd tension between you and the boy you care so much about.</p><p>You quickly step out of the elevator and start walking down the halls before you can allow your thoughts to drive you away.</p><p>You stop in front of Atsumu's door, delivering three hard and loud knocks. You wait for a few seconds. No answer. You knock three more times. Still nothing.</p><p>You're about to knock again, when suddenly, you hear something that makes you freeze. A soft moan. Then a guttural groan. All followed by a breathless, feminine scream of Atsumu's name. You can clearly hear the rhythmic creaking of a bed and a chorus of filthy words and curses spewing out from your best friend's mouth as he pleasures himself and the woman in his apartment.</p><p>You take two steps back from the door, heart pounding in your ears, and the grocery bag with the bento slips out of your fingers and clatters onto the ground with a resounding and echoing thump. The noises inside the apartment pause, and you hear Atsumu let out an annoyed grunt.</p><p>"Who the fuck is it?" he calls out irritably. You open your mouth to reply, but no words come out. You just stand there  silently like a complete idiot as Atsumu continues to shout at you for an answer. You stay rooted to your spot even when you hear his heavy footsteps approaching the door, his deep voice grumbling out complaints about being disturbed.</p><p>The door swings open violently, and you flinch, quickly stepping back even farther until your back hits the wall behind you. Atsumu's in his doorway wearing only his boxers, which hang low on his hips, and his hair is messy and rumpled.</p><p><em>How many damn times am I going to see him half-naked? </em>you briefly muse before a slight feeling of despair spreads within you at the frosty expression on Atsumu's face.</p><p>"What the fuck do you want?" His eyes are glinting a bit wildly as they zero in on your small figure pressed against the opposite wall. He glares angrily at you for half a second before he realizes who you are, and his features immediately soften into confusion.</p><p>"...(Y/N)?" Atsumu's voice cracks a little as he drinks in the sight of you, dressed in one of his hoodies (which you had planned on returning during this visit) and a pair of dark jeans, looking as beautiful as ever. He's always loved how his clothes completely swallow your figure; you look adorable and... his. You look like you belong to him, when you're dressed up so cutely in his too-large clothing, and that's all he's ever wanted. For you to be his, and for him to be yours.</p><p>Even if such a thing will never be true, he lets himself pretend at times.</p><p>He knows he's missed seeing you, but the feeling finally fully hits him as you shift uncomfortably on your feet instead of running to him and tackling him in a hug like you usually did after a long time apart. Taking in your nervous and apologetic expression, Atsumu immediately regrets shouting at you; if he had known you were coming he would've never invited a girl over at all.</p><p>"Sorry for bothering you, 'Tsumu." Your voice is so awfully, awfully small, and Atsumu's heart clenches painfully.</p><p>"Yer not botherin' me. Yer never botherin' me," he says gently, but you still don't look up at him.</p><p>"Guess I should've told you that I was coming. My b-bad." You take a deep breath, trying to keep your voice steady. <em>Has he always had so many girls?</em> The little voice inside you wonders. <em>Don't be stupid, of course he has. You're only just now noticing it because you caught him off-guard multiple times. It's not like he's shoving the fact that he hooks up with girls in your face on purpose...</em></p><p>Yet, despite your reasoning, a small flame of jealousy and bitterness still ignites deep in your uncomfortably churning stomach.</p><p>"Yer always welcome here, (Y/N)." His voice cuts into your thoughts, low and gentle. Atsumu takes a step out of his apartment, but quickly stops when you subconsciously brace your hands on the wall behind you, shoulders trembling and breaths shaky.</p><p>"I think I should go," you say, your voice barely a whisper, but before you can move Atsumu strides forward, placing one of his hands next to your head and effectively trapping you against the wall. Your eyes widen at the sudden movement, instinctively shrinking back a little. Your reaction causes hurt to flicker into Atsumu's expression as he tilts his chin down to meet your gaze.</p><p>"...Don't," he finally breathes after a moment. "Don't go." Atsumu hesitantly leans in closer, and this time, you let him. You're completely lost in those familiar chocolate eyes that you've loved for so long; they seem to pierce through your very soul in the most beautiful way that makes you feel so adored and protected. He, and he alone, has had your heart all this time and you know that will never change; not as your breath hitches in your throat when he moves just a bit closer, not as your heart rate increases tenfold when his gaze flickers down to your trembling lips.</p><p>Little do you know, similar sentiments are filling Atsumu's thoughts at the giddy feeling of you so close to him. He notices the way you follow his own gaze down to your lips. You bite down nervously on your lip, a habit that Atsumu's noticed on you for many years. But at this moment, it took every single rational part of him to keep himself from crashing his lips into yours.</p><p>You're just so <em>close.</em></p><p>What do you want from him?</p><p>Do you want him to hug you? Comfort you? Stand in silence? Kiss you?</p><p>He's willing to do anything to erase that worried crease between your brow and see you smile in that way that sends his heart into overdrive.</p><p>You're not pushing him away, yet you're not doing anything to get closer. Atsumu's waiting for you to speak, to say something, anything to enlighten him on what exactly is going through your head. But there's nothing, nothing as the two of you silently stand there, only inches apart, like complete idiots.</p><p>A large, warm hand cups your left cheek. You don't move away. Instead, you find yourself leaning into his touch. Atsumu takes this as a green light to do <em>something.</em></p><p>His first instinct is to brush a feather-light, barely-there kiss against your cheek. You flinch a little, but Atsumu's strong arms come to circle around your waist, holding you steady.</p><p>Atsumu's lips trace softly against your cheek, drawing a trail up to your ear, where he whispers, "Why're ya here?"</p><p>"I... I just wanted to see you," you mumble. "I... didn't know you'd be busy. I'm sorry."</p><p>"Don't apologize." He suddenly pecks the shell of your ear, causing you the jolt slightly in surprise. "Like I said, yer always welcome."</p><p>
  <em>Stop looking at me like that. Stop touching me like that. Stop talking to me like that. Stop it. You're giving me hope.</em>
</p><p>"I should go," you repeat lowly, cowering away into your little corner of denial again; even after all of the pep talks you've been giving yourself for this moment, you still feel unprepared to finally face him.</p><p>"No, I'll..." Atsumu pauses, eyebrows furrowing. "I'll... take care of everythin'. Just come in for a while, 'kay? We can hang out. Watch one of yer corny kids movies. Think there's still some of the snacks that you and 'Samu bought; those shits never expire anyway. We can eat those. How about that?"</p><p>The shining, hopeful glimmer in his beautiful, chocolate eyes makes your chest ache with longing.</p><p><em>It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair. Stop getting my hopes up. It's not fair.</em> </p><p>You want to stay. You really, <em>really</em>, want to.</p><p>And you should've stayed. But your eyes decide to trail down from Atsumu's earnest expression to his neck, which is covered in blooming, purple love bites. Something terrible in your gut just <em>wrenches.</em></p><p>You know you have no right to feel this way. You're just his friend, nothing more, and yet the selfish, horrible part of you reels in distaste at the thought of him loving someone else. Wants to deny the fact that your feelings of jealousy stem only from your own foolishness of not being able to accept things the way you are.</p><p>
  <em>Why do you always keep wanting more when you know you can't have it?</em>
</p><p>You suddenly want to run far, far away.</p><p>And, in your vulnerable state, you decide (against your better judgement) to do just that.</p><p>Slowly, hesitantly, you place your hands on his broad shoulders and shove. He doesn't budge for a moment, as the force of your push wasn't all too much, but quickly gets the hint. Despair flashes across Atsumu's face as he backs off with small, wounded steps.</p><p>It's silent in the hallway again. All you can hear is the rapid, deafening pounding of your heart in your ears.</p><p>Neither of you know what to do next.</p><p>You then remember why you even came here in the first place.</p><p>"I made you something." You halfheartedly gesture to the bento on the floor, which is luckily still perfectly intact, "...I hope you like it. See you around." Not giving him another chance to say something, you practically dash away, not looking back even when you hear Atsumu calling your name, asking you to wait.</p><p>You know you're being unreasonable and overdramatic, but you can't help it. You've always known that Atsumu sleeps around, but you've never actually caught him in the act so many times in such a short span. In fact, you've noticed that he tries to keep you unaware of that side of him, but you're no fool. Still, you can't find the will to face the fact that Atsumu's so distracted by other women that he'll never even think to look at you in a non-friendly way. Mika's wrong. He would never want you, not when he already has so many beautiful girls already waiting on his hand and foot.</p><p>You try and ignore the tingling sensation still lingering in your body from when he held you so tenderly just moments before.</p><p>You don't even realize that you're crying until Aito stops you on your way out of the building, asking what's wrong.</p><p>"Nothing." You plaster a smile on your face. "Goodnight, Aito." Aito watches you in confusion; you usually stay much longer than this. It's hardly been twenty minutes —</p><p><em>Oh. </em>He briefly remembers when he had seen Atsumu enter earlier that evening, an unfamiliar lady in his arms. Neither of them had come down since.</p><p>"Take care, (Y/N)." And he has the same look on his face that many people have given you lately. One of pity.</p><p>-</p><p>Atsumu knows he should try to chase after you. Sprint down the halls (even though he's practically naked) and catch up to you to wrap himself around you and plead with you to stay. But he doesn't. He stays frozen to his spot, watching you disappear into the elevator.</p><p>A note of dread fills his body as his eyes trail down to the small bag you had left in front of his apartment. With shaking hands, he picks up the bag, opening it to reveal a bento. He recognizes his favorite, fatty tuna, though the clear glass lid of the container.</p><p>Tears suddenly prick at Atsumu's eyes as he takes in the beautiful bento that you had surely spent a good amount of time preparing just for him. Perfectly-cooked fatty tuna (his favorite) is arranged neatly on a bed of rice. Carefully-diced carrots and broccoli fill one of the smaller compartments, while a hard-boiled egg occupies the other. The container is still warm to the touch (you must've just finished cooking) and the food emits a pleasant, mouthwatering aroma despite being packed away inside the plastic container. He's a little puzzled as to why you suddenly would make him a bento, though; you're a good cook but you rarely put your skills to work due to lack of time.</p><p>A small note written in your handwriting then flutters from the bottom of the container.</p><p><em>I hope this tastes good, and even if not, can we be friends again, Tsumu? I miss you</em>.</p><p>Atsumu clumsily picks up the note, reading the message over and over, finally realizing just how much had changed between the two of you in recent times. Did you really think he didn't want to be your friend anymore? The thought had never even crossed his mind...</p><p>"Atsumu, are you okay?" His fling for the night suddenly appears in the doorway, fully clothed with concern written all over her face. Atsumu just sighs, wanting to keep the awkward conversation short and simple. She's a nice girl and he invites her around often, but they're not emotionally connected like that.</p><p>"Yeah." His grip tightens on the bento and the note.</p><p>"I figured you'd like me to leave," she says simply. "That's her, isn't it?"</p><p>"Huh?" Atsumu's eyebrows furrow in confusion. <em>What is she talking about?</em></p><p>"(Y/N)." She grins a little as Atsumu's jaw slackens. "You know, the name you've been mumbling for the past hour or so." She playfully pats Atsumu's cheek as he stiffens like a board in surprise at her words. "Call me if you need me, baby boy, but you better do something about her before it's too late."</p><p>Atsumu can do nothing but stare blankly at her retreating back as she leaves him standing dumbly in the hallway, homemade bento clutched firmly in one hand and your handwritten message in the other.</p><p>-</p><p>Mika's not used to seeing you cry.</p><p>Sure, you're not happy-go-lucky 100% of the time, but more often than not you're not splayed on the couch wrapped in multiple layers of blankets and crying your eyes out.</p><p>She fetches you another cup of water, worry building up within her as you muffle your sobs with the blankets.</p><p>You had shown up back at the apartment much sooner than Mika had expected, and that had already been a sign that something went wrong. You had calmly walked over the couch, sat down, buried your face in your hands, and then let out the single most devastated sob that Mika had ever heard. That alone was enough to induce her motherly instincts to bring you blankets and comfort.</p><p>Even though she wants so badly to know exactly what had happened, she kept her mouth shut.</p><p>Mika sits on the floor next the couch, drawing patterns on the fluffy carpet below her, waiting for you to say something. You're sipping the water she brought you, eyes still glassy with tears and bottom lip wobbling. Your hand holding the cup trembles, and you quickly set it down before a mess is made. You then burrow back into your little nest of blankets, shoulders shaking with each hiccupping breath.</p><p>"Why..." you suddenly mumble, voice hoarse and exhausted, "W-why am I so selfish?"</p><p>"Selfish?" Mika frowns. You're far from it. You're of course not <em>the most</em> generous person on the planet Earth, but never once in her years of living with you have you ever come across as selfish.</p><p>"I-I want him." You hiccup. "I w-want him to l-love me." Your roommate's expression drops. No way... did that idiot actually reject you?</p><p>"He does," she tells you firmly. If the lovesick way Atsumu looks at and talks to you is enough to go off upon, then she has plenty of evidence. There's no way Atsumu actually turned you away... right?</p><p>"Not like that." You sniffle. "I-I mean like, a <em>lovey</em> w-way."</p><p>"He does," Mika repeats. You only hum disbelievingly, letting out a soft sigh.</p><p>"I d-don't, I don't want to c-cry over him a-anymore." Your grip on the blankets tighten. "These s-stupid feelings I've h-had for him all these years... they're j-just hurting both of u-us."</p><p>"You're not selfish," Mika tells you gently, but you don't respond.</p><p>"I just w-want my best friend b-back..." You take a shuddering breath. "I need to s-stop being selfish a-and let g-go."</p><p>"Let go?" your roommate echoes, not really sure what you're getting at.</p><p>"Mika." You lift your head from the blankets, your teary, bloodshot eyes burning with a new kind of determinedness. "Can you still find me a blind date?"</p><p>-</p><p>You're nervous.</p><p>How could you not be? You're about to go on your first ever official date. The first date, in your twenty-three years of life. (It's almost laughable).</p><p>"You look great, (Y/N)," Mika reassures you. "And you're set up with a good guy, plus Daishou and I will be there too."</p><p>After your meltdown over Atsumu a few days ago, Mika had quickly fulfilled your request for a blind date, setting you up with one of her boyfriend's old acquaintances who happens to still live in Tokyo. The plan is that you and your blind date would go on a double date with Mika and Daishou to (hopefully) make things less awkward.</p><p>And perhaps you had expressed that you don't want to be alone with some random person that you've never met for your first date.</p><p>Mika keeps reassuring you that the mystery guy isn't weird or creepy or anything that needs to have you worried, but you can't help but look at yourself and wonder if this is just a huge waste of time. It's not like your feelings for Atsumu had just suddenly vanished into thin air; they're still very intact and are taunting you as you get ready for your date with the notion that you might be leading a poor boy on.</p><p>And you can't exactly feel great about yourself either after ignoring Atsumu's texts from the past few days.</p><p>You figured you would answer him after your date, not wanting to back out of the arrangement because of your (still intact) undying love for Atsumu, but the messages still linger in your head.</p><p>
  <em>Can we talk?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Are you okay?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I would've been fine if you stayed</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Did you get home safe?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nvm, Mika told me you made it</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When can we meet up again?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Take care of yourself, I miss you too</em>
</p><p>"We're going to meet them in five minutes." Mika's voice cuts into your thoughts, and you give a small start. She smiles comfortingly, giving you a reassuring pat on the back. "And trust me, your date's gonna feel so damn lucky. You're beautiful."</p><p>You stare at yourself in the mirror, uncertainty washing over you as you assess your appearance once more. The four of you are going a fancy, upscale restaurant with a formal dress code (you hope to God that you wouldn't have to crack open your wallet to pay for anything because you're broke as fuck), so you had to dress yourself up. You're wearing a royal blue, satin cocktail dress lined with a delicate sweetheart neckline. A simple silver pendant (Mika's) is clasped across your neck and a pair of open-toed, black heels sits waiting at the door. You had even taken time to do your makeup and style your hair. After only seeing your sleep-deprived, stressed-out reflection staring back at you for the past few weeks, even you have to admit that you look like quite the sight for sore eyes (literally).</p><p>All for this blind date with a guy that you might not even end up liking.</p><p>
  <em>Stop being so negative, dumbass.</em>
</p><p>You're not going to let yourself ruin the experience before it even starts.</p><p>You look fantastic, the restaurant's reviews are great, and the guy you're meeting will be amazing. You just have to keep telling yourself that.</p><p>Mika basically has to drag you out of the apartment because you can't stop zoning out thanks to your overthinking.</p><p>Daishou, Mika's boyfriend, lives in the Aichi prefecture, which is a good few hours away from Tokyo. But he comes twice a month to visit Mika, and every time you see them together, they look like the happiest people on Earth.</p><p>You can't help but crack a small smile when she suddenly breaks away from your side as the two of you approach the restaurant, running up to her dark-haired boyfriend and throwing her arms around him. Almost instantly, Daishou's face lights up with a fond smile, hugging her back before pecking her forehead.</p><p>"Oh, long time no see, (Y/N)." Daishou greets you with a friendly grin. He then gestures to a familiar tall, well-built man dressed in a sleek, black two-piece suit. Your jaw slackens in surprise as the man runs a careless hand through his ruffled black hair with a relaxed quirk of a smile on his lips. </p><p>"Nekoma captain?" you blurt, almost choking on your saliva.</p><p>"Hey there, Inarizaki manager. Been a while, hasn't it?" There stands Kuroo Tetsurou, former captain of Nekoma High, grinning down at you, and suddenly, all the tension in your shoulders relieves itself.</p><p>You and Kuroo had met at training camps back in your high school days, and while you never became extremely close to him, you had helped his team run drills with Inarizaki and of course brought water and snacks when needed. You had also engaged in conversation with Kuroo multiple times during and after practices, and he was overall charismatic and easy to talk to. He was (and probably is) good friends with Bokuto as well, so you had spent time in the same circle of friends at camp with him. All in all, you like Kuroo, and suddenly, you feel so much better about this date. At least you wouldn't be with a total stranger after all.</p><p>"Good to see you again, Kuroo." You smile warmly back at him.</p><p>"Oh, didn't know the two of you knew each other," Daishou remarks with a raise of his eyebrow.</p><p>"C'mon, everyone who was involved in high school volleyball knows each other," Kuroo points out rather sardonically.</p><p>"Shut up, of course I knew that, Rooster Head." Daishou and Kuroo glare at each other for a brief moment before Mika slips in sheepishly and pulls Daishou towards the restaurant before gesturing you and Kuroo to follow.</p><p>"Reservation for Daishou!" Mika chirps to the hostess. The four of you are led to two neighboring tables a few feet apart from each other. Mika and Daishou occupy one, and you and Kuroo the other.</p><p>"So, why're you here, (L/N)?" Kuroo suddenly asks you as the two of you settle in your seats and leave Mika and Daishou to be lost in their own little love world.</p><p>"W-What do you mean?" you stammer out, not expecting such a blunt question. Kuroo laughs.</p><p>"Sorry, guess that was rude of me. But last I heard from Bo, you were still dating Miya, so I was a little confused when you of all people suddenly showed up."</p><p>"Huh?" You frown. "I was never dating Atsumu."</p><p>"What?" Now it's Kuroo's turn to look confused. "You were never with Miya?"</p><p>"Never." You groan slightly. "Why does everyone think that?" Kuroo is silent for a moment, questioning his existence. "I'm here because I just... wanted to try out this whole blind date thing. It's new to me."</p><p>"I see." He nods slowly, clearly still not really processing your words.</p><p>"Why're <em>you </em>here?" you suddenly ask.</p><p>Kuroo blinks; you caught him off-guard. "Me?"</p><p>"Do you see anyone else around here?" You raise a brow. Kuroo can't help but chuckle. Even in the short time that he's spent with you in the past, he'd already grown a friendly liking towards you.</p><p>"I owed that snake bastard a favor." He sighs deeply. "Plus he was annoying as hell and kept begging me." Kuroo changes his voice into a whiny tone. "'Go on a blind date with my girlfriend's roommate, I promise she's hot' blah blah blah." You scoff. "I mean, he's not wrong," he adds as an afterthought after briefly checking you out from across the table.</p><p>"Kuroo, what the hell." You flush involuntarily; you don't know what to say as you just realized you have no fucking idea how to flirt.</p><p>"You can call me Tetsurou, by the way." Kuroo grins. "We're friends, aren't we?"</p><p>"Sure, Tetsurou." You hide your flustered state with a shaky smile. "So I guess I'm (Y/N) to you, now."</p><p>"'kay then, (Y/N)." His eyes flicker down to the menu in his hands, and a look of brief confusion crosses his face. "Look, I don't know about you, but I can't pronounce anything on here."</p><p>You immediately look at your own menu, and it's filled with fancy dishes in a foreign language — French? — that your Japanese education had not prepared you to say properly.</p><p>"Yeah, me neither." You both stare blankly at the menu for a few moments, then burst into laughter.</p><p>"It's okay, we can just point at something random," he suggests.</p><p>"The cheapest thing, please," you groan. "The lowest price I see on here is already gonna make my pockets hurt." Kuroo snorts.</p><p>"Forget it, you're not paying tonight, (Y/N). Choose whatever you want."</p><p>Kuroo doesn't let you argue further, but you still go for the cheapest thing on the menu.</p><p>"How's life been treating you since high school?" Kuroo questions as the waiter disappears into the kitchen with your orders. You sigh.</p><p>"Well, I'm in my last year of uni. And still very unemployed for the near future. You?"</p><p>"Oh, I work for the Japan Volleyball Association," he says casually. "I actually saw your boyf — I mean, Miya, play at one of the games I was required to attend recently."</p><p>"C-Cool." You wince a little at the mention of Atsumu, which Kuroo quirks an eyebrow at, but you keep talking to distract from it. "What's working at such a big and important company like, then?"</p><p>"Fun enough. And not-so-coincidentally, I still get to work with one of my best friends. Do you remember Kenma?"</p><p>"Of course." Kenma and Kuroo were always two peas in a pod during high school, after all, so you've met and talked to Kenma a few times. Despite his usual unwillingness to talk to people he doesn't know, he'd always been pleasant to you.</p><p>"He's a famous hot-shot streamer now, and JVA's partnered with him to help further promote volleyball as a professional sport." Kuroo smiles rather fondly. "Kenma hasn't changed much, if you're wondering."</p><p>"Don't think you have, either."</p><p>"Is that a bad thing?"</p><p>"Not really."</p><p>"Well, that's a relief." You both chuckle. "And you haven't changed either, (Y/N)."</p><p>"Really, now?" You raise your eyebrows.</p><p>"Yeah, 'cause you're still in love with Miya." You had been sipping from your water glass, and suddenly choke upon hearing this.</p><p>"<em>What</em>?" you splutter.</p><p>"You're cute and all, but no offense, I have no intention to date you." Kuroo yawns. "Like I said, the only reason I agreed to a blind date is because that slimy snake wouldn't leave me alone. I was just lucky it turned out to be someone I knew." You aren't all that surprised or disappointed if you were being honest; yeah Kuroo is a nice guy and you enjoy talking to him but the thought of <em>actually</em> dating him hadn't even crossed your mind.</p><p>"Okay, that's fine. But what does that have to do with Atsumu?"</p><p>"Why aren't you with him?" Blunt as hell.</p><p>"Because, <em>genius</em>, feelings need to be mutual for a relationship to work," you deadpan. Kuroo stares at you like you've grown an extra head.</p><p>"You've got to be joking."</p><p>"What would I be joking about?" At your remark, Kuroo's expression turns even more incredulous.</p><p>"(Y/N), I don't think I'll be the first to tell you this, but — "</p><p>You don't hear the rest of what he says, because your attention had already been directed elsewhere.</p><p>You had seen Hinata's bright orange hair first.</p><p>
  <em>No way. It's just Hinata, right?</em>
</p><p>Then you see Bokuto's two-toned silver and black hair. <em>Maybe the two of them went for dinner together just because?</em></p><p>Next is Sakusa's head of curly dark locks. <em>Fuck.</em></p><p>Meian. Shion. Adriah. Oliver. They're all present.</p><p>That means, there's then, of course, Atsumu. It's a whole MSBY Black Jackals team banquet.</p><p>Your best friend, who you are currently ignoring because of an extremely awkward situation that had occurred a few days ago and who you are definitely not ready to face, is sitting a few feet away from you. Thankfully, his back is to you, because you don't even want to start imagining what kind of cringeworthy things would happen if he saw y —</p><p>Hinata makes eye contact with you.</p><p>
  <em>No. No. No.</em>
</p><p>You stand up suddenly. Kuroo doesn't even seem all that shocked at your sudden rush to leave the table; he of course saw the Jackals file in and even let out a low whistle of secondhand embarrassment. You appreciated his gesture, but you need to take a moment and collect yourself.</p><p>You rush towards the ladies' room, not noticing a pair of chocolate brown eyes that catch onto and trail after you.</p><p>The bathroom is thankfully empty when you walk in, as you immediately brace yourself by the sink. Your heartbeat is roaring in your ears and your mouth has run dry. You can't believe you're getting this worked up when nothing has even happened yet. <em>How overdramatic can you get, (Y/N)?</em></p><p>You breathe in and out, deeply and slowly. Nothing is going to happen. So what if Atsumu sees you? Nothing bad's gonna happen. There's no reason why you should be panicking. He has his own business to attend to, and you have yours. End of story.</p><p>
  <em>Now get out of this stupid bathroom and the enjoy the rest of the night with Kuroo eating the random expensive shit that you ordered. Don't worry about Atsumu.</em>
</p><p>You take all but two steps out of the bathroom before you bump right into someone. You already know who it is without looking up by the way they place a gentle hand on your shoulder.</p><p>"Hey, 'Tsumu." A gut feeling had already told you that this encounter would be unavoidable. Atsumu's dressed nicely in a white button-down shirt tucked into a pair of black slacks, proper for the restaurant's standards. As soon as you tilt your head up to look at him, you're reminded of how weak you truly are, because he's also wearing the wounded expression of a kicked puppy. You've missed him and his stupid pouty face so much.</p><p>"Didn't know ya'd be here..." He clears his throat awkwardly. "I was worried about ya. Why haven't ya answered any of my messages?" Atsumu's lower lip juts out even more, his big brown eyes filled with concern.</p><p>"I've been... preoccupied," you say lamely, not exactly sure how to explain that you were trying to block him out so you could focus on trying to have a good blind date. Looking back, it now seems like a very dumb idea.</p><p>"Yer..." Atsumu pauses, and his face contorts in confusion as he realizes what you're wearing. <em>Holy shit. </em>It's not that he doesn't like your choice of clothing, in fact, that's far from the truth. He's always known that you're beautiful, but here is just another reminder. Your pretty face looks back at him with an almost calculating expression, but he still takes the time to admire all your features, from your mesmerizing eyes to your cute nose to your very kissable lips (or at least they certainly look very kissable, because sadly he has never had the pleasure of trying). The silky royal blue fabric that hugs your figure so tantalizingly seems to mock him as it shines and shimmers under the light of the chandeliers above with every small movement that you make. His heart leaps into his throat, his breaths suddenly turning shallower —</p><p>"On a date, yes," you finish his train of thought. There's a short, but tense silence as Atsumu is quickly plunged back down to Earth.</p><p>"With who?" His voice comes out more accusatory than he intended it to, which clearly throws you off because you immediately square your shoulders in a defensive manner.</p><p>"Remember Kuroo Tetsurou?"</p><p>"Nekoma's old captain?"</p><p>"Yeah, him."</p><p>"Why him?"</p><p>"Why not him?" You glare briefly at each other for no apparent reason.</p><p>"D'ya even know him?"</p><p>"Well, I ended up on a blind date with him, and I'm clearly trying to get to know him."</p><p>"Why're ya suddenly dating? I thought ya were too busy to?"</p><p>"How is that any of your business?"</p><p>More glares.</p><p>"I don't want to be mad at you, Miya, so I'm going to ask you nicely to leave me alone right now."</p><p>"What? M'just looking out for ya!"</p><p>"You're not doing shit."</p><p>"(Y/N), ya can't just date people that ya hardly even know — "</p><p>"Like you're one to talk!" You're fuming now, and you already feel that this will be a recipe for trouble if you don't calm down in the next five seconds. "<em>You</em>, of all people, should not have a stick up your ass about this." Atsumu's mouth drops open slightly, and you can see a flicker of hurt flash through his eyes. Your heart gives a stir, but you know you have to stand your ground this time. This boy is <em>not </em>going to call you out for being on a date with someone you hardly know when he —</p><p>"Ya can't!" he suddenly blurts.</p><p>"Can't <em>what</em>?" you grit out, fists and jaw clenched.</p><p>"I..." Atsumu suddenly goes quiet.</p><p>"I don't want to fight with you." You force yourself to calm down a little; nothing good would happen if the both of you are so high-strung.</p><p>"I know." A pause. "I'm... M'sorry." Atsumu sighs, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants, his forehead creased with slight frustration. "You... you go and have fun, 'kay?"</p><p>"Thanks, I will," you reply rather brusquely.</p><p>"Really liked the bento by the way," Atsumu suddenly mentions, as if he's afraid you're just going to walk away if he doesn't keep the conversation alive. He gives a weak attempt at smile. "Was delicious. Thanks."</p><p>"Good," is all you can get out.</p><p>"Yeah, good."</p><p>Silence.</p><p>"Well, I don't want to keep him wai — " you start.</p><p>"I love you, (Y/N)."</p><p>Silence.</p><p>That familiar feeling of a mixture of euphoria and despair washes over you as you hear that phrase from him once more.</p><p>And for a few moments, you want to believe it's the kind of love you've always wanted from him. The warm, gooey kind that filled you with warmth the brim with affection and adoration. The kind that made you crave hugs and kisses and proclamations of devotion.</p><p>Back in your late middle school days, you always (embarrassingly enough) fantasized about Atsumu finally confessing his undying love for you before you would kiss, get married, and live happily ever after. That was before you realized that his love would come from a very different place than yours for him.</p><p>By now, he's said those three magical words to you hundreds of times, ranging in times from when you share your food with him to whenever you pick him up from bars piss-drunk. Yet, they've never lost their meaning to you, even though you know they don't mean what you want them to.</p><p>You don't think he's lying, of course.</p><p>If you could gather anything from the way he looked at you, a molten fire of strong emotion burning in his eyes, it would be that he truly does love you.</p><p>But you're selfish, something that you've come to terms with lately, and that love he shows you is not what you want.</p><p>"Love you too, 'Tsumu."</p><p>And you're selfish enough to keep loving him the way you do even though you know it's worthless for the both of you.</p><p>He looks like he wants to say something more for a moment, but he doesn't.</p><p>You part ways with Atsumu that night at peace, but there's still an unsettled feeling in your stomach as you sit back down at the table across from Kuroo. You know your problems with Atsumu are still not yet solved.</p><p>Mika is slightly disappointed when she hears that you and Kuroo are not planning on having another date any time soon (you had decided to not tell her about your encounter with Atsumu because she had been so happy that you were getting along with Kuroo) but she drops it quickly.</p><p>"It's okay," she had told you with a reassuring smile. "I'll find you another date."</p><p>"No," you had answered quickly, not even thinking about it before blurting the word out. "I..." You think about Atsumu and the way he loves you. You try to convince yourself it's enough. "...I'm really not ready, after all."</p><p>Mika nods in understanding and pats your shoulder encouragingly, not saying a word, which you really appreciated.</p><p><em>Even if he's not mine, even if I'm not his, it's okay.</em> You lean back against the couch you're sharing with Mika, closing your eyes. You hadn't realized how truly exhausted you are. <em>Things take time. Stop rushing yourself to move on when that'll just make things worse. You'll forget about all of this someday.</em></p><p>You still can't help but wonder though, how long it'll be until then.</p>
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